Category: Suicide

Cosby High School is the first to pilot the #umatterchallenge!

Check out the video the teens did! Thanks to Alex Chaffee, teen leader and member of the Swift Creek YMCA Leader’s Club for her help in leading the charge on this social media mental illness acceptance and suicide prevention program! And to all the students who stood up against the stigma of mental illness.

I doubt I could have gotten a team of adults to do this video. So who’s gonna erase stigma? High school students like these guys!

If you want to bring this simple, 2-week program to your school, contact me. This program is through Beacon Tree Foundation, advocates … Read more...

Charles wanted to live

The hardest part of living with Charles’ suicide is knowing he didn’t want to die. The truth is, that most who attempt or complete a suicide don’t want to kill themselves. They simply want to end their relentless emotional pain.

In piecing together that final day, I know my son wanted to live and wanted help. He didn’t ask for it directly but he certainly sent off flares that sailed right over our heads because suicide was not on our radar.

Emotionally, our own brains were frozen on what to do

Charles hinted at suicide in texts to me like … Read more...

Stigma writes me a letter

Photo credit. youmatter.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Hi Anne Moss,

I hear you are fighting me. So how’s that going? Sort of like taking salt out of the ocean by the teaspoon, isn’t it?

I admire that you have the audacity to take me on. People are so set in their ways, so invested in their fundamental black and white belief system, I won’t fall easily.

Denial is part of my charm, judgment so crucial to my success and shame is where I thrive. I flourish in an environment where people react only to the latest crisis and then forget it two weeks later. This culture is perfect … Read more...

The #umatterchallenge

This challenge starts on Feb 21, 2016. You can sign up now and you can sign up any time after that.

Program inspiration

Charles Aubrey Rogers died by suicide June 5, 2015. He was 20 years old and suffered from depression, anxiety and ultimately addiction.

He was a creative genius and one of the funniest and most popular kids in high school. Yet he died by suicide which shows us that what you see on the outside can be covering up a storm of emotions on the inside. If there was one consistent theme about Charles, it was that he … Read more...

Life cut short heart— #griefheart number 215


Charles’ life was sadly cut short, but love remains. And it always will. Just because I lost my child to suicide, doesn’t mean I stopped loving him.

My childhood friend and schoolmate, Leigh, saw this in Dupont Forest a few weeks ago and sent it. Pretty incredible find.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by #griefheart category.

10 things I learned from Charles
… Read more...

Teens and Young Adults: How to help your friend with depression?

how can you help

Teens and young adults ask me this question a lot. They have a friend who is confiding in them. That friend may be cutting, thinking of suicide, doing a lot of drugs, having trouble sleeping or just really depressed lately.

This is for those of you thoughtful enough to listen to that friend who is suffering. If suicide is an eminent threat, then you listen with compassion, call the suicide hotline and get them to the next level of care. Sometimes that means calling 911 or the suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255. This podcast is a good one for having … Read more...

This is my mental health story

coldplay albumJule is 15 years old and from Germany. She submitted this #griefheart and I asked her if she wanted to do a post about herself.  So many who suffer from depression and other mental illnesses find relief in music. I know for Charles it was also a lifeline. I think this shows an incredible sense of hope, self awareness and maturity. 

Like many others, it started with school bullying

I have always been rather worrisome, nervous and thoughtful, but I was ten years old when things started to get bad.

I was in sixth grade and one of the best … Read more...

Those final tweets

In those last few weeks, I was reading Charles’ twitter to make sure he was still alive. He didn’t tweet anything after June 3. While we didn’t hear about his suicide until June 5, I think he died on June 4 because I did talk to him that afternoon and had a hard time understanding him.

I thought those tweets indicated he was headed to “rock bottom,” from his addiction, meaning he’d get tired of being out there and reach out for help. I know now those tweets were really “invitations” to ask him if he was thinking of suicide. It’s so obvious … Read more...

I am so sorry

I am so sorry I did not go to you that last day you called.

I am so sorry I did not listen to my gut.

I am so sorry I did not tell you I loved you every day you were gone those last two weeks.

I am so sorry I did not understand heroin addiction more than I did.

I am so sorry suicide was not on my radar.

I am so sorry I don’t have all your precious rap notebooks.

I am so sorry I didn’t buy you a dog earlier in your life.

I am so sorry about times I yelled at you.

I … Read more...

A statement that helped me understand that suicidal moment

As a mom I struggle with that moment when Charles took the steps to end his life. I know he knew we loved him. But it’s so painful to think my love was not enough to prevent his death. Or that he thought we didn’t love him at that moment and we were all better off without him.

That’s where those of us who’ve lost someone to suicide struggle the most.

Not too long ago, I got a message from a young man who lives in Chicago. He was doing some research and found this blog and reached out to me. He admitted … Read more...

Goals for 2017

1. Get Preventure mental health and drug prevention initiative integrated in Virginia schools. 

I need parents to say they want this in our area! Tell teachers, call principals. Deadline is Feb 3 for getting letters from 30 principals. If we can get the letters to get the grant from NIDA, this is the program around which we will treat all mental illness and addiction in the future. Emotional learning and life skills training works. This program will have historical significance.

2. ASQ Suicide Screening

Through Beacon Tree Foundation and with the help of the Chesterfield County Suicide Coalition, it’s … Read more...

Inspired by tragedy to change the world

Here’s what grief as the result of suicide loss can look like. The profound moments of joy are appreciated more, and savored longer. The feeling of love lies closer to the surface and most of us that have suffered this loss are more willing to reach out without worrying how it will be perceived. It’s real and it’s authentic.

Things matter less. Relationships matter more.

Thanks to Shirley Ramsey, I had the opportunity to connect with others who grieve the loss of a loved one by suicide and are passionate about the cause of suicide prevention at the American Foundation … Read more...

Four simple ways you can prevent suicide

This is just the starter kit. Low-hanging-fruit kind of tips that could prevent a suicide of someone in your family or a friend.

1. Talk

This is #1 in my book. Avoiding the subject does not help us avoid more suicides. It only makes those who experience thoughts of suicide feel more isolated, alone and unable to ask for help when they need it.

You’d be surprised at how many people you know have survived a suicide attempt (called lived experience) or had a loved one very close to them either attempt or die by suicide. Because we don’t talk … Read more...

Timeboy1408 and Madeline

My name is Madeline. I’m a 19 year old girl from Massachusetts.

I sat down at a computer the other day, and suddenly I thought about a YouTube channel name that I frequented as a kid when I was 12 years old or so.

Timeboy1408. It was your son’s channel.

I remember spending many nights laughing and enjoying his videos. He got me through some really tough times. And though I never met your son, I had a huge crush on him.

Eventually he had stopped using that channel and I figured he had just quit YouTube. I mentioned … Read more...

Richmond, VA: Community Suicide Awareness & Prevention

Event: Tues, Jan 31, 2017 at St. Edward’s Church Youth Room.

Responding to the needs of their parishioners and recent suicide losses in our community, St. Edward’s and Beacon Tree Foundation are co-hosting an event focused on mental health, suicide awareness and prevention.

This event is for parents, teens and young adults. Recommended age is high school teens. Younger than that is up to the discretion of the parent and we trust your judgement. I will be following reviewed guidelines set forth by ReportingonSuicide.org.

Ninety percent of all suicides are the result of someone that suffers from … Read more...