The story of rap and how Charles taught me to appreciate it

“If you’ve got something good, you better respect it
Hold your world and protect it
The only thing guaranteed in life is death
And everything looks sweeter when you haven’t any life left”

– Charles Aubrey Rogers

This one is the hardest for me

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Cal’s Song – by Charles Aubrey Rogers

The irony in this rap song is downright eerie. And the bullying Cal endured ate at Charles.

Cal died by suicide almost exactly 2 years to the day before Charles did and by the same method. I don’t think Charles’ death was in any way a copycat. Charles wrote two songs that I have but

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Video: Forgive me momma – by Charles Aubrey Rogers

Charles would rather Eminem or Cage be performing this rap. But I don’t know their numbers.

Since 8th grade, rap was Charles’ lifeline. He wrote it, performed it and it helped him deal with his depression and his addiction. I’m not talking about the

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What These Drugs Do – by Charles Aubrey Rogers

This was hidden in Charles' closet when he was 15
This was hidden in Charles’ closet when he was 15

Another of Charles’ raps penned under Reezin’ the Revolutionary. This one nails addiction. It’s not pleasant but neither is the illness. I think once you read it, you start to have an understanding of the self loathing an addict suffers from. 

Warning, it has some language

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Verse for the Lonely – by Charles Aubrey Rogers

Lonely flower from Gene Nimocks
Lonely flower from Gene Nimocks

All by myself feeling’ lonely as hell
Like I fell in a well, no one hears me yell
Someone get me out of this pit
someone get me out of this shit
Sorry drippin’ down my pen
Bleeding out when I spit

This is a verse for the lonely When you’re hurt mission’ homies Poppin’ perks cause

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Sometimes in My Dreams Cal’s Song, Part 2

by Charles Aubrey Rogers

This is real shit, not crap rap, The park I used to trap at is next to the tunnel where Cal took his last nap. Just a coupla weeks away from graduation, He was supposed to have that gown and tassled cap hat. Cosby was where he was supposed to grad at,<br

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Family Matters – a rap by Charles Aubrey Rogers

IMG_1890
Charles (far right), his brother Richard in the middle; Owen and Amy, his cousins

(aka Reezin the Revolutionary)

Granbobby used to make my card disappear, and pull a quarter out of my ear, Momma how’d I end up here? Life was so different, I was so innocent, Who knew I’d ever act like a criminal, My love for you is far from minimal Daddy

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Not exactly a suicide note

escape-cloudsHere’s how I understand the why of his suicide. His brain telling him he wanted to go, had to go. It would be better somewhere else. It was too painful here.

It is through these songs, as painful as they are to read, that I understand his depression. I wish he would’ve given life here

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A Rap Song from Charles about Snack Time. #humor

Charles loved sweets. Loved snacks. Loved little convenience stores. He would stand at that aisle and take forever to make a choice.

His earliest addiction was sugar. I can remember finding a bunch of packages of candy under his bed when he was around 8-10 years old and then sitting on the bed crying

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