Comparison does not have to be the thief of joy

Comparing your life with that of another can put you in a constant state of unhappiness. Why don’t I have __________ like such and such? With the advent of social media, this feeling is often compounded.

Those of us whose children suffered from addiction have, at some point, compared our read more

Inspired by tragedy to change the world

Shirley Ramsey celebrating sunset over the Pacific Ocean

Here’s what grief as the result of suicide loss can look like. The profound moments of joy are appreciated more, and savored longer. The feeling of love lies closer to the surface and most of us that have suffered this loss are more willing to reach out without worrying how it will be perceived. read more

5 things to help you find hope after tragedy

How do you get the worst news of your life and move forward? How do you weather a tragedy that alters your life so much you can’t see how you can survive? How do you find the strength to enjoy life after that? Will you ever laugh again?

At first, you are in shock, moving through a fog. It’s read more

From where I do I draw my strength?

pray for the strength to endure life's challengesI have been asked this question several times since Charles’ death. As a result, it’s been on my mind because I know that others not in this club must wonder how we go on.

I have had many near death experiences that I have mentioned before–a broken neck, an attempted rape and read more

Worthless

“Tough times never last, but tough people do.” –Robert Schuller

There are times during this grief journey that I feel small and worthless. I don’t normally suffer from lack of self esteem so the intensity of this feeling is foreign to me.

Not that I have never felt read more

Let it go

At some point, you have to ask yourself, what is that baggage doing for me?

To move forward after Charles’ suicide, I had to let things go.

Like anger. Guilt. Shame.

Unlike other suicide loss survivors, I never felt a lot of shame. When we first started seeing signs of drug use, I did feel read more

To those who need it now, don’t let that pilot light of hope burn out

through all the terror i can find beauty and a glimpse of hope

Suicide is loss of hope.

And certainly after you lose a child by suicide, your sense of hope is hard to find.  What do you do after you lose one of the people that gives your life meaning?

The pain of losing my child read more

Grief: Finding joy where I can, when I can

When Richard, oldest son, was here for the Richmond Film Festival early in March, we got some time to spend together. (His film Cottonmouth got in the festival.)

One day I took him and his roommate out to lunch. While we sat there eating, Richard said, “Hey Mom, do you want to go to the screenings read more

9 ways I am coping with the insurmountable grief of suicide loss

b1a53e828ea4517be1bf01c8f8eb16e6I believe that by being open about suicide and sharing coping experiences and ideas, we can learn from each other.

The stigma has kept us clammed up for so long, it’s time we shared.

These work for me. Not to wipe away the pain. But to help me figure out how to live my life with this loss.

1. Writing

Writing read more

4 grief phrases that make your journey more painful

griefThese might also apply to a death of a loved one that is not a suicide.

However, my grief experience is with the suicide of my son, Charles so I wrote from that point of view.

quote-leftI will never get over it

A suicide, or any untimely death, is not something you “get over.” It’s a journey that changes over read more