How a conversation on death change your life

My bon voyage file

I didn’t talk about death a whole lot before Charles died. He did, though. And I wish I had asked why since obsession on the subject is an indication that someone struggles with thoughts of suicide.

We live in a death-averse, death-phobic culture. We can’t even say the word death, substituting instead, phrases like “passed away” or “kick the bucket” to sugarcoat life’s ending.

So how do you want your end celebrated? Where do you want to be buried? How will it be paid for? Do you want your organs donated (the closest thing we … Read more...

Exposure in Boomer Magazine

I know I’m like a freaking 12-year-old showing you my latest art project. And in a way it is an art project. I invested my soul in this book and it’s exciting that it’s getting some publicity.

It is featured as one of the books recommended for Boomer Readers in Boomer Magazine. On newsstands now at WaWa, Kroger in Richmond, VA.

And for those of you who can’t get the magazine, I blew it up large so you could see it.

The Book: Diary of a Broken Mind

Read more...

My pain is worse than yours

After I lost Charles to suicide, someone I knew called a few months later and shared the sad news she’d just lost her Dad. He had died at 94. Later when I met with her, she told me she hurt just as much as I did and that our situations were exactly the same. I said nothing. I knew she was close to her dad and was really hurting.

I cannot say and never will say that I hurt more than her. There’s no way to compare grief or pain. I just wish she had known that.

Sometimes we want … Read more...

By God’s Grace Radio Show w/ Cynthia Hash & Anne Moss Rogers

30 minute audio on SoundCloud

Link is here: https://soundcloud.com/1070wina/01-jan-05-ann-moss-rogers-complete

What were some early signs of Charles’ depression? Did he indicate feelings of suicidality? What was he like as a young child? How do you ask someone if they are thinking of suicide?

I answer these and other questions on this radio show with Cynthia Hash of the Mitchell Hash Foundation in Charlottesville, VA so parents and others can avoid the outcome both Cynthia and I have suffered.

Cynthia is the founder of the Mitchell Hash Foundation for suicide awareness. It was started in honor of her son, Mitchell, who served in the … Read more...

Don’t use the words ‘at least’ to a friend who’s lost someone

“At least she isn’t suffering.”

“At least you have other children.”

“At least you will no longer worry.”

“At least he is in heaven now.”

“At least he didn’t suffer.”

If you are thinking of starting any sentence with “at least” to a friend who has suffered a loss, you are essentially trying to polish grief with a coat of positive. In other words, you are invalidating someone’s feelings.

When I suffered a loss, I didn’t want anyone pointing out the good part of losing a child. There was nothing positive about Charles’ suicide. I was at the lowest point … Read more...

Behind the Hoodie

by Jackie Utley

A poem inspired by a mother who lost her daughter to suicide. One of the contributing factors to her suicide was bullying.

behind the hoodie
Photo by Brandon Mathis on Unsplash

Stepping on the doormat
Doesn’t feel like my home
The familiar smells from the kitchen
Don’t excite my tastebuds anymore.
Dreading the welcoming voices
Whose pitch pearce my ears

I don’t want to know they are happy
My low life has no highs to share
I’ve nothing nice to say anyway
They’ve no idea my world is fractured.

I don’t belong here now I know
Pulling my sleeves over … Read more...

Diary of a Broken Mind Book Review at RFM

by Margaret Thompson

“Families who have or are struggling with addiction, depression, anxiety, and suicide will find compassion and solace in this book, and those who haven’t will admire Anne Moss’ compelling and descriptive writing style, as well as her resilience and honesty. ”

Margaret Thompson, Richmond Family Magazine

Diary of a Broken Mind” Explores Addiction and Suicide From a Mother’s Personal Perspective

The day it came out, I purchased Diary of a Broken Mind at its book signing release event at Fountain Bookstore in Richmond. I had been one of author Anne … Read more...

Your son Charles has been found dead this morning

It ended so fast. Yet it took so long to raise him. In one swift kick, my son ceased to exist on earth and my purpose as a parent was yanked from under my feet.

I couldn’t help but reflect on all those nights we stayed up with Charles when he couldn’t sleep, the plays I went to, the costumes I sewed, the carpools full of boys I toted to baseball practice, the noses I wiped, the fevers I treated.

I endured fart jokes, loud gaming sleepovers, and copious amounts of Axe body spray in middle school.

I invested everything … Read more...

What is ‘gray area’ drinking?

by Kari Schwear

As a former gray area drinker, I found myself living a double life appearing to have it all together, but wrestling with my wine addiction in secrecy. In this story, I explain how I ended up in that place. 

The Beginning

When I was just seven years old, I asked–“Is this all there is to life?” I wondered if life was really so lonely and empty–a profound thought for a 7-year-old.

As time went on, I never seemed to feel any excitement for life. Some special moments stood out, but for the most part, I dreaded school … Read more...

How to Talk to Kids about Depression, Substance Abuse and Suicide

Listen to this podcast here.

This podcast focuses on how to talk to kids about depression, substance misuse, and suicide from my perspective as a mother whose child died by suicide in 2015. 

Suicide is the second leading cause of death among 10 and 34-year-olds, only behind the unintentional injury, in the United States. Much of suicide has a correlation with depression and substance misuse—and while there is an epidemic of teen depression and suicide, only 45% of teen girls and 33% of teen boys who have experienced an episode of depression got treatment in 2019. It’s time to start … Read more...