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Is your negative self-talk deflating your self-esteem?

“They said I’d be a failure
and collect dust on the shelf
I’ll show the world I’m something else
Twist their words and make somethin’ of myself.”
—Out of Reach by Charles Aubrey Rogers

Cognitive Distortions to Cognitive Restructuring

Many of us default to cognitive distortions. That means we look at things from a point of view that is more critical and often results in our saying things to ourselves like, “You are so stupid!” Or “I should be through all this by now. Why can’t I get back to normal?”

When you struggle with self-defeating remarks, it can … Read more...

10 Steps to Finding Your Purpose

Click the yellow title to get your 2-page ebook.

10 Steps to Finding Your Purpose

Length: Two pages (maybe the spiral notebook look is overkill)

Finding purpose is how you add meaning to your life. It can be a business venture, passion project, or social justice pursuit. It doesn’t have to be grand and international. It can be simply promoting a cause in a meaningful way. These are the steps I took to find my purpose and I hope these steps help you find yours.

Read more...

ManTherapy.org – Sometimes life’s dog takes a dump on your lawn

A friend of mine and top researcher in suicide prevention, Dr. Sally Spencer Thomas, wanted to figure out how to reach men who might be struggling with some kind of mental health event or condition. A lot of her work centers around the corporate world and the construction industry, the latter having the highest rate of suicide. She is also a suicide loss survivor, having lost her brother, Carson, decades ago.

She ended up working with an ad agency to execute a way to reach men using humor. The site is ManTherapy.org. There is a lot more to the … Read more...

How a 16-year-old went from suicidal to hopeful

This is a conversation from a series of comments on this site that took place June 1-June 7 from the page, How to Write a Suicide Note. This “how-to” page is not a template for writing suicide letters but a page people land on from a google search that includes resources.

This is part of my work to use search and digital content marketing strategies to help people save their own lives. I have dozens of these pages that rank well on Google and other search engines and I have been doing this work since 2016, answering comments from … Read more...

The death anniversary. Year 7 since Charles’s suicide

charles rogers died by suicide in 2015
Charles Aubrey Rogers April 26, 1995-June 5, 2015

I can say I have healed emotionally.

I can’t say, “I’m over it.”

I have learned to walk beside grief and accept the journey however it presents itself, never having expectations of how it might be. So if I feel low, I sit with that emotion for a bit and then use a coping skill to jump-start myself out of that space. No pushing grief away or denying it. But then no wallowing either. My grief is my opportunity to connect with the memories of Charles.

At this point, it’s less about … Read more...

New app for suicide prevention and grief for suicide loss

Most Days is an app for iPhone that helps you build routines to support your mental health. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention has partnered with the app, to offer support for those who have lived with thoughts of suicide and those who live with a loss by suicide. (Video below if you want to just scroll to that.)

Step 1: Creating or subscribing to a routine which is a set of healthy habits that you are working to incorporate into your life most days. A library of routines is already written by top psychologists and neuroscientists from which you … Read more...

Sweet Polly sunshine and the facade of toxic positivity

What is toxic positivity? It’s the belief that you should appear happy, even if you are struggling. So picture a person who is skipping through a lollipop land of shiny faces and perfect families with a basket of daisies singing show tunes all the time.

Like that’s for real?

Now there are benefits to being an optimist for sure. But toxic positivity takes positive thinking to an extreme. It minimizes and denies any trace of human emotions that aren’t strictly happy and dismisses difficult emotions. That’s BS.

We need to make room for those emotions, too. In fact, the way … Read more...

New speaker website

I wanted to announce my new speaker website. It probably has some glitches and typos so if you see any, let me know. There is also a blog there but it will be geared to professional pursuits. Your stories, my stories, will still be on this site.

See the new Mental Health and Suicide Prevention Speaker website here.

Read more...

The Intersection of Addiction, Suicide, and Stigma

“My demons up against me
I’m facing them now
I wear the face of a clown
I feel so unloved
Because of the monster
Created from drugs.”

Charles Aubrey Rogers, Rap Song, “Just to Hurt”

As most of you know I lost my son to suicide who suffered from an addiction to heroin. Many think he died from an intentional overdose. Not so. His death was far more desperate and visceral. My son would not have been counted in the stats of overdose deaths. We know 100k died of overdose. But what about all the other drug-related deaths? The accidents? … Read more...

Addiction and substance misuse pose a safety risk at work. A personal story.

by Leslie Hanson

“Your mom isn’t answering the phone.  I’m worried about her.  Can you check on her?”  Immediately following this text, my cell phone rang with a familiar phone number. It was my mother’s cousin, Laurie. I knew why she was calling.  Cousin Laurie spoke with my mother daily and routinely called me when she could not be reached.  

Over the years, I came to address these calls with diminished urgency as experience taught me my mother was either ignoring the calls or incapacitated by her addiction to opioids. Cousin Laurie had designated herself as my mother’s keeper … Read more...

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