Was I a failure as a mother?

When my child killed himself, the first thing I thought about– when I could, in fact, think– was that he left because of something I didn’t do right. What kind of shitty mother was I that my child checked out on me? I saw it as a failure at the one job that meant most to me read more

How grief drove me to be clutter free

by Tamara Rollison

I know this is a strange subject for a mom who lost her only son to a car crash. How could anyone think about “clutter,” much less write about it in the same blog post about her deceased child? Read on.

It started with the kitchen chairs.

Grief gets you in all sorts of way. read more

Feedback for Resilience Exercise with Teenagers

I did an event for the Regional YMCA Leader’s Club Rally. Leader’s Club is a club for teens. I so enjoyed myself. I asked the rally coordinator, Janice, for feedback. Since it read more

Googling ways to die

Below is a comment I got on this post meant to, hopefully, divert those googling ways to die and provide hope, understanding and maybe prevent a suicide.  I thought you guys might want to see a message from someone who read more

Black heart— #griefheart number 280

Black heart

I see references in Charles’ music to his black heart. He felt like he was ashamed because of the darkness in his soul.

I hear that a lot from those with mental illness. They think they are not worthy of friends, of a family’s love, or life. That darkness is part of the disease of depression, read more

You should be with other mothers of dead children

I love being with other parents who’ve lost a child. No one understands my pain more than other members of the club no one wants to be in. But I also want to be with my old friends, too.

The thing is, after Charles died, I was in fear of losing my old friends–friends who had not weathered read more

Charles always knew how to make me laugh when I was low


By Danielle Warren with her permission to repost this message. Moms who’ve lost a child don’t get to have new memories of that child. The existing ones are all we have but we don’t know all of them and always open to hearing a story about our child who died. read more

Garrett Brinegar and a fractured family

by Janet G Nenzel 

As I’ve said to Anne Moss on many occasions, I just don’t know where to start. The tears immediately begin to well up and stream down my face as I contemplate writing this on this bleak and cold Sunday morning.

Last Saturday, March 3, 2018 was 5 long years since losing my read more

It wasn’t about me

Angry Charles in wilderness

As I go through Charles’ song lyrics typing them up, I am struck once again at the level of creative genius and the sheer volume of music that expresses both pain and anger (there are very few published here). Pain read more