Grief shaming. Why is she still talking about her child who died?

When someone loses a child, they don’t erase her from the family tree

So I’m listening to the radio in the car. The lady who called into the “Complicated Grief Show” started by saying it’s been 8 years since her cousin lost her daughter and that she still goes to visit her grave. The caller went on to say that when she visits her cousin who lost read more

How to let go of bitterness in grief

Who wants to be bitter their whole life? How does it improve the quality of your life? And do others want to be around you when you are bitter?

The short answer is that it doesn’t improve the quality of your life so let’s get rid of it.

We are allowed some bitterness in grief. Just read more

The secret to getting unstuck in grief

Nobody’s wants to feel the pain of grief. Nobody wants to feel pain, period.

The things that get us stuck are refusing to talk about it, feeling guilty for crying, not finding or accepting support.

‘Feeling it’ serves a purpose. As much as it sucks, that purpose is emotional healing. read more

Cleaning out the room of your child after death

Most people wait to do this part since it’s such an emotional event. Friends have told me they waited one, two or even five years or more. I had to do this right away because we had sold the house four days before he died.

At first, I tried by myself. I ended up in a blubbering pile on the read more

Start by believing you will survive it

In the first few days and weeks following any tragedy, you are in shock. Grief covers you like a lead blanket and you can’t see how you will ever be able to function again.

Your first step? Believe you will survive this. Keep telling yourself you will.

The way I got through each day at first read more

Did Charles ever really belong to us?

I birthed him, raised him, loved him. But I always had this feeling that he didn’t belong to me.

I remember when we sat with the minister to plan Charles’ memorial service, and he said, “Our children don’t really belong to us. They pass through us, are part of our families but read more

It’s how you survive that counts

In Los Angeles for Christmas with Richard, Me, Randy

We used to be four. Now we are three. I still struggle with that.

I regret I did not have more children. Not that other children would “replace” the one I lost to suicide .  It’s just I feel our family is so much smaller now.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m thankful and grateful read more

The most satisfying posts to write

Some posts are so cleansing to write. These were the posts that helped me let go of bitterness, resentment, anger, sadness and guilt. Or at least deal with it more effectively. Not all of these were popular. But they were cleansing to me and it didn’t matter to me if thousands read it or read more

My second Christmas without my child

by Tamara Rollison

Tamara and Logan

I will never forget the date, 5:30 a.m., July 22, 2016. My 19-year-old son Logan was pronounced dead in a Virginia hospital. Every bone in his body broken, bleeding from the inside out. His eyes black, his head swollen, his blonde hair blood stained from fatal injuries that literally read more