Linkedin post about grieving parents

I posted the following on LinkedIn. Below are some of the lovely quotes from that post.

charles wasatch

What grieving parents want you to know….

You are still important to us.
We still want to be asked, invited, and included.
We might not go. And then again we may.

We still want to talk about our child who died.
Days, months, and even years later.
Our greatest fear is that our child will be forgotten.
We hope you will listen and be there for us, asking us on holidays how we might be coping.
And understanding that certain times of year … Read more...

Mental Illness Happy Hour: Losing A Child – Anne Moss Rogers

Mental Illness Happy Hour | Listen Notes

MentalPod Website with this episode and show notes.

Paul Gilmartin’s Episode #565 of the Mental Illness Happy Hour. Talking about perfection, finding a support network, and an interview with Anne Moss Rogers

If you want to support Paul with a Patreon donation, go here. As little as $1-$5 a month helps! Paypal and other ways to donate are on the show notes page.

This is from a photo in 2019
Read more...

Your friends just don’t understand

As a result, you feel dismissed, ignored, unsupported. How could they do this to you when you need them the most?

Let’s say your child is struggling with substance use disorder and every time you bring up the subject it dies like embers in a fire in a thunderstorm. It could be after you’ve lost someone to suicide or lost a child to any cause of death, everyone seems to disappear. It could be you are simply having a very difficult time and no one has noticed or reached out despite your current state of mind which is very uncharacteristic … Read more...

RFM: Help Students Grieving a Loss by Suicide

7 Important Strategies for Educators

  • August 30, 2021

In 2015, my son Charles took his own life at age twenty during an episode of major depression and withdrawal from heroin. By 2017, I had sold my business and invested myself in suicide prevention which included a focus on postvention, the period following a death by suicide. 

To better understand this kind of tragedy and its aftermath from an educator’s point of view, I interviewed several educators, including a Colorado public school teacher who had lost a student to suicide. This teacher offered a chilling account of how her students opened … Read more...

My life is not worthless because there is sadness in it

I know there are some people who wonder how I can put one step in front of another after my son Charles’s suicide. I’m not sure how I have managed that either.

Others (I’ve heard second hand) think I just need to quit harping on the “depressing” subjects I speak about and my life would greatly improve. They think if I’d just leave all that behind I’d be skipping through a meadow singing show tunes with daisies and muffins in a basket.

Some think sadness is the stinker I need to lose. But I know denying it would only make … Read more...

Judgments and Grief

We all make them. Judgments and assumptions. And then we make those judgments and react emotionally to them. Once it swirls around in our heads marinating, we can get really angry or sad over these thoughts. 

So for example, “Jane” recently shared that she was struggling with her grief after the loss of a close buddy to suicide because she thought her friends thought she should “be over it by now.” She had not known this person but for a few months, not long enough to be so torn up about it so why was she letting it still bother … Read more...

Sam’s Soul Journey. A mother’s grief

by Lynda Harrison Hatcher

Lynda Harrison Hatcher, author of Mothering Addiction

At 2:37pm on a Friday in February, an unknown number lit my mobile screen. “Are you kidding? I’m not answering that,” I said melodically, as I weeded through a storage bin stuffed with an assortment of photos, many of them stuck together from years of moisture. Most would be hurled into the dumpster I’d reserved for the next three days. Early spring cleaning.

Seconds later, a text from the same area code – “That’s weird,” I said, then scanned the words: “Lynda, it’s Lissie. Sam’s friend. Could you please … Read more...

For my son’s birthday in heaven, I got a tattoo

by Kerry Rhodes

So if you know me, you know how much I disliked Taylor having tattoos. When he turned 18, he begged to get a cross on his chest with Frank Woolwine’s name on it. Frankie was his good friend who was killed in a car accident the year before.

I knew better than to think I would stop Taylor once he was 18, so I said let’s go with something small. He agreed and I paid for it for his birthday. If you give Taylor an inch, he could sometimes take a mile. So that one tattoo turned … Read more...

It’s been 17 years since our son Rand ended his life at only 16

by Elaine Alpert, M.Ed

It was on our younger son’s ninth birthday. You likely know exactly what I mean when I say, “It was the worst day of my life … followed by many more worst days of my life.” Add to that the sleepless nights full of flashbacks … finding Rand with barely a pulse in our backyard, the police accusing us of foul play, and our hospital vigil, praying, begging for him to survive, only to be told it was too late, there was nothing they could do to save our boy.

We’ve all heard the opposite … Read more...

What’s life without you?

by Kiernan Gallagher, 15 years old
Published with her mother’s permission

Trigger warning: Strong emotional content and suicide method mentioned.

One I never wanted to imagine. But instead, I now live it.

They say it gets easier.

It doesn’t. And I knew that from day one. 

It’s been over a year and I still remember everything. I still feel everything.

On September 26, 2019, I didn’t go to bed until four in the morning. I woke up four hours later just to get smacked in the face — reality check, everything actually happened. I’ve never actually told anyone … Read more...