It’s November already. Almost one year since my youngest daughter died by suicide during her first semester away at college. Even as I write those words, I have to pause and let them wash over me as though they are new words, as if this is a new grief.
I don’t think these words will ever settle down like old words. Not only does November hold the day of Eve’s death, but it is also Children’s Grief Awareness Month. A time when we, the grown-ups, are asked to pause, and to turn to the children, who … Read more...
That can be hard to figure out when you’re in transition or experiencing a change such as divorce, illness, devastating loss or going through adolescence or menopause.
It’s not a good feeling being at a cross roads, lost at the intersection, and left in the desert without a compass. And it’s hard to find yourself again. When I have found myself at this place I’ve struggled to figure out what going forward means. What is that and where do I turn? People at such a juncture often make big shifts such as a … Read more...
When someone dies, kids need to have some choices and control over what they do. Some relatives might imply or say that a funeral is not an appropriate place for children. But that’s not true. Even in the case of a suicide or overdose, children should be allowed to be part of the event
Ritual is important when grieving
This is especially true for children. Funerals are special events that kick off the healing process. Unresolved grief can trigger all kinds of problems later, including substance misuse. So it’s important to allow … Read more...
I’ve done a lot of interviews lately. But this is the one time I could talk almost entirely about my grief. The Dougy Center is a national organization that focuses on grieving children and their families. Their guide to talking to children of any age about a suicide is one of the best I’ve ever read. It comes complete with scripts on what to say to children at any age.
My relationship with Charles after his death has continued and evolved. The idea that I’d have a relationship with someone who is dead makes me sound like I’m in need of a good therapist or that I am unable to accept his death.
Grief is something that lives along side me now. Talking to the air, consulting my beloved dead for advice, or laughing about something I know he’d find funny is part of that new relationship, if you could call it that. As my grief has changed and softened, so has the relationship.
Between those book covers, there is a lot of pain, anger, laughter, purpose, healing, hope, and heart. I do feel a little naked and a lot vulnerable but I’m less terrified today than I was two weeks ago. And yeah, excited. I’ve woken up at 4:30am for the past two weeks.
I have had initial feedback from advance readers and so far so good. A good launch is important and that has to do with sales so here are some … Read more...
Hanging out with friends tonight at a concert. We all need those self care events and time with good friends. I’m waking up so early this week preceding the the book launch. It’s stirring up a lot of emotion. So I needed this evening out.
On Episode 234 of the Mama Bear Dares Podcast, Tesi and Leslie talk to Anne Moss Rogers, a fierce mental health advocate, speaker, and writer who helps people foster a culture of connection to prevent suicide, reduce substance misuse, and find life after loss.
Through their discussion, Anne Moss teaches Tesi and Leslie about how to talk about suicide and grief, potential warning signs, helpful resources, and how to walk through life with a grieving friend.
A “medium” is defined as a person claiming to be in contact with the spirits of the dead and communicate between the dead and the living.
It’s been on my mind the last four years. I don’t think it can hurt and might make me feel good about the experience. What was your experience if you did go to one? Did you go in person or was it by phone or skype? How did you choose the one you went to? Do you think it’s all BS mumbo jumbo?
I am not sure my husband would be into this although … Read more...
That phrase plays in my head when I start to go to the place where the regrets are hitting me in the face and the pain of having missed the obvious signs of Charles’ suicide take up too much space in my head.
I could drown in all this. I have drowned in it. I’m now able to pull myself out of the deep end.
The bottom line is I know so much now about addiction and suicide that I often find it hard to remember when I … Read more...