I wanted to know what he was going to be

I was so curious. What would Charles become one day?

He was so quirky, funny, animated.

I struggled seeing him as an adult. But still I pondered and I wondered.

That’s what we all do, right? Wonder what our children will be one day. It’s the great reward.

When things got bad, I read more

Can you do something now to prevent young children from becoming addicts later?

I knew at an early age that Charles had the predisposition for substance abuse disorder. I was, however, unaware of a family history of depression and anxiety. And until recently, I never knew any family members had attempted suicide.

The diagnosis of ADHD apparently increases the risk of illegal read more

A creative genius slipped through my fingers

Of course I miss my son. But another part I miss is that the world lost someone so talented–before we ever really got to see the full breadth of what he had to offer.

He had such gift, so much left to create.

He could freestyle rap like no other human being. The words came to him so quickly read more

What would Charles be doing now?

Cage (a famous rap artist) and Charles. He talked about this rapper a lot

Most likely he’d still be struggling but I’m going straight for the fantasy.

He would have just finished the album he was working on and be rapping for audiences everywhere–working it with the passion that was so characteristic of Charles before addiction. At the same time, he’d read more

My favorite of Charles’ quotes

music fills my empty and makes my hollow float

Not all of these are sunny and positive. And we tend to avoid darkness. But I think for Charles, writing about the darkness helped him find light–until he found dope. There are so many rap songs and I have so few. Here are some of the quotes from those stanzas that I am sharing.

“As dark as my life’s like, I can still smile at the bright side and see the silver lining even when it’s nighttime.”

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