I am not accustomed to angry, irritable grief. It’s visited a few times but lately, that’s the emotion that has taken up residence. I’m not a pure joy to be around. Imagine that. Covid-19 has been, if not solely responsible, at least partly so. Because I am sick of it. I know everyone else is, too. But right now I don’t care how anyone else feels about it. I just want my two minutes to complain.
It feels as if I am a bumper car running into obstacles in a limited … Read more...
It’s the holidays and I had fun. I had no expectation that it would be.
After Charles’ suicide, I focused more on friends and family and less on stuff and decorations. It’s the connections that I need. Not more stuff. In fact, I can’t help but look around and want to purge some stuff .
It’s nice to be invited to things again. Our social life had dwindled when Charles struggled with drugs and alcohol and then it died when he did. Of course, it did. I didn’t want to spend quite that much time with myself, though. … Read more...
by Tamara Harvey Braswell
I will never forget the date, 5:30 a.m., July 22, 2016. My 19-year-old son Logan was pronounced dead in a Virginia hospital. Every bone in his body broken, bleeding from the inside out. His eyes black, his head swollen, his blonde hair blood stained from fatal injuries that literally crushed him when he took the street curve too fast and slammed his truck head on into a tree less than a half mile from our home.
I would never again hear him say, “I love you mom,” or feel that rush of excitement … Read more...
Holidays are supposed to be festive and fun. But I’m not getting that vibe at all. You just bring me heaviness and grief. While people hustle and bustle about, I feel like I’m moving in slow motion. I just feel flat and lifeless. And sad.
Couldn’t you skip a year? This is my second holiday season and I still can’t seem to find my footing. I have a hard time finding motivation to do anything about Christmas at all. I just want it to go away.
I had hoped to be at the point of tolerating the Christmas holidays by … Read more...
As early as August, Walmart was stocking the garden shelves with Christmas decor. I wanted to lodge a complaint. Those decorations were a threat and I felt offended.
Must they assault me with holiday tacky in August?
I couldn’t even find the garden clippers which end up being outside buried next to the fertilizer. But I could find a singing santa! That should help with fall gardening.
And I can’t stop them. Can’t get a year off either.
I’d like to skip those two months and the pain of losing Charles by suicide that … Read more...
