A sign of love —#griefheart number 288

A sign of love

I don’t think there could be a more perfect #griefheart than this. A message to let someone else know they matter is literally the heart of what Charles was all about. Enough said.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here. Contact read more

A river runs through it heart —#griefheart number 287

River runs through it heart

I have not posted a #griefheart in a long time. I have had this one in mind for a while and was stumped in regard to how to illustrate the concept. Someone sent this and it was close enough.

Charles loved the James River and he was the worst swimmer on the planet. Dog paddle was the only stroke he read more

Strawberry heart to honor Adam Doliber —#griefheart number 286

Adam Doliber’s HeartAdam Doliber died by suicide in August of 2016. Alex Chaffee, a friend of his, sent me this to honor his memory. 

From Alex: “Chesterfield Berry Farm is where I met Adam Doliber in 2015, son of Kathy and Bill. Adam died by suicide not read more

Petrified heart—#griefheart number 285

Petrified is how I felt during the last phone call with Charles that I could not figure out. Petrified is how I felt when I heard the news of his suicide. Not petrified like preserved. But literally scared as shit.

Scared of facing such an insurmountable loss. Fear of what was previously unknown read more

Heart of a blue bird—#griefheart number 284

I got this card from a dear neighbor, Roxann, on Charles’ birthday week. We used to live across the street from her family and watched her kids grow up before they moved away around middle school. They were the best neighbors. She and her husband have two lovely daughters.

So in the card, read more

Birthday cake heart— #griefheart number 283

I celebrated Charles’ birthday at training today and my friend Gray brought a cake in honor of my child who would have been 23. Gray lost her son, Whitten, to suicide. So sweet of her to bring this cake and I had a group with whom to share it.

Meanwhile, my husband went to go retrieve read more

Pajama jeans love— #griefheart number 282

So there is a story behind these. Pun intended since this is a photo of the back end of my most comfortable jeans. So the denim style now is skin tight. That’s NOT the style of this old pair. These are well worn and soft. Because of that, holes appear in the rear. And when they do, I make read more

Easter egg heart— #griefheart number 281

Easter egg heart

On Easter morning, I could not help but remember how much Charles LOVED easter egg hunts. I think he is about seven when we go to the event in my parent’s neighborhood. It was a game, a group activity, and it had candy involved so it had all the ingredients Charles’ loved. What is funny read more

Softened heart— #griefheart number 280

Softened heart

The stabbing pain of grief when we first lost Charles to suicide from depression and addiction was relentless. I didn’t know someone could survive such emotional agony. My soul felt hard and it literally hurt.

Over time, grief has lost its razor sharp edges and my heart has softened. It no longer read more