Evolution of my grief after Charles’ suicide

At first, following anything with more than two steps was impossible.

The grief would surround me and literally take me to the floor where I would try to escape it. Like I could squeeze out of its way or hide from it. The emotional pain was so intense, it hurt physically.

I was not a great driver. read more

I didn’t get to tell Charles his lyrics were brilliant

Charles’s senior picture at Wasatch Academy. This is from his twitter acount

So many saw them. Read them. But I never got to see his notebooks.

Some days I feel sort of left out because he didn’t share his work with me. I know why because I would have been alarmed. But he had to know I would have also been impressed.

I think he started writing read more

July is Bereaved Parents Month

I didn’t know it there was a month for this but this statue definitely captures the grief of having lost a child.

The artwork above is called Melancholy by Albert György & is on display in Geneva, Switzerland. It’s pretty magnificent. Shows that hollow that never seems to be filled, read more

I don’t want to write

It’s good for me. That’s why I do it.

But today, I’m feeling drained and spent since I’ve been working obsessively on my book. I’m trying to decide which quotes fit which chapters and I’m wrestling with which songs to include and which ones to leave out. I think read more

Someone found the post I wrote when they needed it

I have noticed that my article on The Mighty,

For the Teen Contemplating Suicide and Looking for the Strength to Reach Out

has gotten ranked on Google for certain search terms related to suicide. And Sam left a comment above.

Sometimes they come to my site and that’s linked to that Mighty article and I imagine many go to the article directly from Google. So in other read more

After loss, your capacity for love grows

I would have never thought this was possible. Especially in the early days. when my heart hurt so much I thought I would implode. But when people came by the house, helped me plan the service, helped me pack and move when I could barely put one foot in front of the other, I felt it then. That read more

Something odd in the contents of Charles’ backpack

Before we got the brown bag with the clothing Charles was wearing when he killed himself, we got the backpack you see above. I think we got it about 5 or 6 days after he died. I remember my family was still there.

Inside, there was a list of the contents. I didn’t laugh then but I laughed read more

Send your selfies!

Model your Emotionally Naked T-shirt so I can add it to my gallery. I want to make some quick videos with the tribe! Like the one below.

Seventeen seconds.

I didn’t get all of you in this round. But I will be making more of these! I’ve been playing with this new toy, Adobe Spark.

Charles read more