My son Charles was an artist — an actor, comedian, rap artist, and an amazing writer. In short, he was a creative genius and he would have been 27 years old today. He suffered from depression and addiction and died by suicide seven years ago. And yes we have birthday parties for our son in heaven.
Charles loved birthday parties. When he was little he’d start planning months in advance for his. It drove us crazy. But now I miss what drove me mad even though I did think it was so precious. He didn’t love parties because of the presents. He loved them because they brought people together. He loved big gatherings and craved connection.
So that is one of the traditions we carry forward. And it just so happens it’s one of the tenets of suicide prevention. Connect more in person. It matters.
Love you, Charles. From me to all of you a big hug in memory of my younger child.

Happy Birthday, young man. Your mom loves you to the moon and back. Hope you are happy wherever you are.
Thank you Danny.
Pretty amazing to see how you just keep loving and learning through this. I do not beleive everything happnes for a reason, but I do believe, from the hardest and most painful things, we get to learn and grow the most, when we are honest, open, willing, and able.
Stay strong!
That is such a lovely comment and so true. Thank you Maggie.
A friend posted your blog on LinkedIn and I have to comment.
April 27 is my birthday. While I never planned my parties, my mom made sure there was one, eve when times were tough and tight.
So at 76, I’ll share a bit of my day with you and your son.
I too, have a curious and “arty” mind. It is wored differently which I have come to appreciate but not when I was in high school. It was a daily diet of some form of ridicule at some point during the day. And yet- I knew I was a musician and artist. Math not so much except for geometry which was one place I could have made fun of all my class mates except the btow others that “got it”. It was a shining moment in an otherwise fairly dismal time.
I know so much more now, about myself, about the arts, about life, about what’s next after this upcoming commencement.
This I believe, the 4,000 weeks ,give or take, of this material existence are not for naught. What we have done to make the general consciousness clearer and brighter is not bound by our physical selves. When people hope for heaven and seeing loved ones again, I am of the belief that this is within the Great Consciousness. The alternative is futility and a lie.
Why I wrote this to you I have no idea except you and Charles touched me in that consciousness way I believe into.
Best of the best possible wishes to you today.
Thank you Stephen. This was so nice. I appreciate your finding this post and commenting.