Struggling in the Darkness of our Loss with host Laura Diehl and Anne Moss Rogers. This episode has a lot of practical advice for those who are struggling deeply in the darkness of grief after child loss. Being a mom who lost her son to suicide, Anne Moss made a conscious decision to figure out how to work through the guilt, shame, and horrific darkness to be able to live a life of meaning and purpose again, both to honor her son, Charles, and to help those who find themselves contemplating ending their own life.
by Tammy New Hallstein
We didn’t know that you were drowning in emotional distress
We didn’t know that you decided that the way to save yourself was to end your life
We didn’t know that we could cry in our sleep; that we could cry so many tears for so long
We didn’t know that the last time we saw you, heard your voice, or shared a conversation, a phone call, or text with you, that it would be the final time
We didn’t know that it was possible to feel … Read more...
November 16, 2021
While straightening up my office, I ran across a ratty-looking notebook. It had no real meaning and I almost tossed it. I am quick to get rid of things. A quick glance through it, made me sit down and read. Unusual entries gave greater meaning as I look back over the years since losing Maggie to suicide.
Here is my long-forgotten journal entry…
April 7, 2014
I have a story to tell but I don’t want to tell it. It is a very sad story full of great pain and suffering. … Read more...
I posted the following on LinkedIn. Below are some of the lovely quotes from that post.
What grieving parents want you to know….
You are still important to us.
We still want to be asked, invited, and included.
We might not go. And then again we may.
We still want to talk about our child who died.
Days, months, and even years later.
Our greatest fear is that our child will be forgotten.
We hope you will listen and be there for us, asking us on holidays how we might be coping.
And understanding that certain times of year … Read more...
If you want to support Paul with a Patreon donation, go here. As little as $1-$5 a month helps! Paypal and other ways to donate are on the show notes page.Read more...
As a result, you feel dismissed, ignored, unsupported. How could they do this to you when you need them the most?
Let’s say your child is struggling with substance use disorder and every time you bring up the subject it dies like embers in a fire in a thunderstorm. It could be after you’ve lost someone to suicide or lost a child to any cause of death, everyone seems to disappear. It could be you are simply having a very difficult time and no one has noticed or reached out despite your current state of mind which is very uncharacteristic … Read more...
7 Important Strategies for Educators
- August 30, 2021
In 2015, my son Charles took his own life at age twenty during an episode of major depression and withdrawal from heroin. By 2017, I had sold my business and invested myself in suicide prevention which included a focus on postvention, the period following a death by suicide.
To better understand this kind of tragedy and its aftermath from an educator’s point of view, I interviewed several educators, including a Colorado public school teacher who had lost a student to suicide. This teacher offered a chilling account of how her students opened … Read more...
I know there are some people who wonder how I can put one step in front of another after my son Charles’s suicide. I’m not sure how I have managed that either.
Others (I’ve heard second hand) think I just need to quit harping on the “depressing” subjects I speak about and my life would greatly improve. They think if I’d just leave all that behind I’d be skipping through a meadow singing show tunes with daisies and muffins in a basket.
Some think sadness is the stinker I need to lose. But I know denying it would only make … Read more...
We all make them. Judgments and assumptions. And then we make those judgments and react emotionally to them. Once it swirls around in our heads marinating, we can get really angry or sad over these thoughts.
So for example, “Jane” recently shared that she was struggling with her grief after the loss of a close buddy to suicide because she thought her friends thought she should “be over it by now.” She had not known this person but for a few months, not long enough to be so torn up about it so why was she letting it still bother … Read more...
by Lynda Harrison Hatcher
At 2:37pm on a Friday in February, an unknown number lit my mobile screen. “Are you kidding? I’m not answering that,” I said melodically, as I weeded through a storage bin stuffed with an assortment of photos, many of them stuck together from years of moisture. Most would be hurled into the dumpster I’d reserved for the next three days. Early spring cleaning.
Seconds later, a text from the same area code – “That’s weird,” I said, then scanned the words: “Lynda, it’s Lissie. Sam’s friend. Could you please … Read more...