In memory of Christopher Baker, a wonderful human being

Memory page for Chris, June 10, 1980 – June 2, 2019

Randy: “Hi. My name is Randy Rogers and I am calling you to find out if any of the guys in the recovery house need to make some money because we need some landscaping done.”

Lee: “Yeah. There’s a guy named Chris. Come by on Saturday and I’ll introduce you.”

My husband, Randy, goes to the recovery house where Lee is house manager. This was where Charles lived for a single day before his relapse and ultimate suicide. Instead of the 19-year-old named Chris that Lee told us … Read more...

When the world says give up, hope whispers

This is one of lines in Charles’ lyrics.

And on the occasion of his fourth death anniversary, I wanted to start with that. He died by suicide June 5, 2015, the worst day of my life. By comparison even a death anniversary will never feel as awful and unbearable as that day. And for that, I am grateful.

There are times I feel like giving up. Not on life but this cause. And then I ask myself, “So what else do you want to do?” There really isn’t anything else I want to do. By next year I need … Read more...

How companies can support an employee who has lost a child

Many grieving parents have mentioned less-than-ideal support in the workplace after loss of a child. At worst, people say nothing and the broken parent is back in the workplace feeling isolated and overwhelmed with grief. Productivity is profoundly affected by loss of a child and workplace support including a kinder bereavement policy could help make the transition easier. (This could also be applied to loss of a spouse or sibling.)

The hard facts are that parents who lose a child still have to eat and pay mortgages, make car payments and do real life things like taxes. A loss of … Read more...

My son, Jake, died from depression

by Susan Shearouse 

Journal Entry. May 12. Sunday. Mother’s Day

Susan and her son, Jacob Hasson Stull who died by suicide.
February 26, 1982 – September 14, 2018

Sitting on the porch, comforted by the sweet soft rain. This bench is sheltered just so. I can look out across the front yard at my gardens there and stay dry here.

Mother’s Day. I am the mother of three children. One is not with me. Other people say “he is here.” No. Here is rumbling through the neighborhood in an old truck that needs a new muffler. Here is bounding up … Read more...

Keep it positive! A phrase I hate

All my career I heard that phrase. In advertising, they practically force fed it.

When did we become so fake that anything other than bliss was off limits? There are times when a warped or dark point of view is funny.

One time, we did an ad for Ethyl (now under another name.) It was for a fireproof suit. We featured a photo of a guy walking through fire with the suit on and the headline was something like, “Our guys walk through hell to test our suits.” The client loved it. Except for one thing. Could we make it … Read more...

Mother’s Day is here. Again

by Karla Helbert, LPC

mother's memories on mother's day
Mother to a daughter. And a baby son lost to a brain tumor.

I wish people knew that this day, now over-commercialized, over-sentimentalized, overblown and over-filled with spending, obligation, and long waits at any brunch-worthy restaurant, was first created by and for bereaved mothers who shared it with all other mothers.

They started it not to elevate to superiority the mother and her role in family and society, or even to simply honor motherhood.

Did you know that the women who started Mother’s Day were actively working to help lower infant mortality rates? That they protested … Read more...

An Emotionally Naked Love Story

I never thought of this website as a matchmaking site. But apparently it is.

Once upon a time, I met a lady named Tamara who became my friend when I reached out to her after her son, Logan, died in a truck crash. Logan suffered from mental illness including a binge eating disorder and lived in the neighborhood Charles grew up in.

So she understood my frustration with the mental health system. And the expense. Even more coincidental, Logan went to the same boarding school in Utah as Charles.

We were instant friends

Tamara wrote this article about her Read more...

Mother pours grief into ‘Claire’s Song’

by Karen Poll

Our daughter, Claire, was a bright, seemingly healthy teenager who had a zest for life and was always using the phrase YOLO (You Only Live Once).

However, by the age of 14 we started noticing changes.  We didn’t realize at the time they were some of the key warning signs of depression:  personality change, agitation, withdrawal.  We attributed them all to normal teenage angst.  

We had no idea of the catastrophic storm that was brewing inside her. Claire ended her life the last night of ninth grade at the age of 15, June 5, 2014.  We … Read more...

Happy Birthday Charles

Charles Aubrey Rogers

Today my boy would be 24 years old. What would he look like? How would he have changed or not changed?

He’ll never get wrinkles, have arthritis, worry about getting a cancer diagnosis. He’ll never graduate from college, get married or have my grandchildren.

Instead, he is forever frozen at the age of 20 in pictures and memories. Forever young. Forever tragic due to his addiction to heroin and death by suicide. Charles was supposed to be famous by now. He was supposed to be making me laugh.

I crack morbid jokes sometimes which make me laugh … Read more...