Suicide is the leading cause of death for girls 15-19* worldwide and suicide rates for females 10-14 have tripled since 1999, the most alarming increase.
We have to ask ourselves why.
Some say social media. Others site early puberty. While those factors might be part of it, I think that it’s a combination of things.
Teens, by nature, want to fit in. At this age, their peers are the most important relationships. They don’t want to be rejected or ostracized.
I think technology is a major reason
With computers, smartphones, social media and texting combined, teens have a … Read more...
I remember waking up. Then dreading that I woke up and reality hitting me like ice water in the face.
My child is dead. I am the mother of child who killed himself. I actually feel as if I am in someone else’s skin because it feels so foreign and prickly. I just want to slide out of myself and into someone else’s life. Anything but the one I’m in right now.
Randy and I hold each other sobbing. The coulda, woulda, shoudas hitting us hard in the light of day.
How do I tell people my child is dead? … Read more...
From theatre friends to Anne Moss’ friends, more stories about Charles at his memorial service after he died by suicide. Part 1 is here.
It took me a year to post all these and be able to watch them. I am very thankful to have them and for all the people that stood up and spoke in front of everyone that day.… Read more...
It took me one year and a month to post these. Thank you Wendy Holt for grabbing a camera that day and filming or I wouldn’t have them. My brain was still too fried and in shock to think of anything other than trying to make it through the day.
People gathered around Charles like a moth to a flame. I feel like I lost a son and I feel like I have lost Elvis. He was that on-the-spot talented. He could make up a rap song in an instant to cheer someone up or a joke that would bring … Read more...
Say hello to Haley who will be a senior in high school next year. I met with her today because she wanted to be part of this suicide prevention and mental health awareness school program.
A freshman at her school died by suicide not long ago and she was touched by that event and motivated to get involved. Her mom reached out to me on Facebook and made the initial introduction.
Loved getting the feedback from a teen since they are the ones taking ownership of this program while I, together with my committee and Beacon Tree Foundation, … Read more...
There are times your grieving heart feels beat up. Other times when you want to beat up inanimate objects to find relief.
You know what? Punching objects is way underrated for managing personal pain associated with the loss of a child. I highly recommend it. I think that will be my grief gift. Big, fat pillows instead of flowers.
What is the #griefheart project?
I explain my #griefheart project here.
See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by#griefheart category.
… Read more...
It would be unfair to other moms and dads who have lost a child to say that my “hurt” was worse than theirs.
It hurts to lose a child. Period.
I also can’t compare because I’ve only had a child die one way and that’s by suicide. And besides that, grief journeys are very personal experiences.
Loss from suicide is like no other loss
That I can say.
What’s different about suicide is that on some visceral level, I feel it’s a choice–that my son chose to leave this earth even though I was in it.
Intellectually, I know Charles … Read more...
This is an excerpt from a blog post from a young lady in her early 20s in response to “The Final 48 Hours.” She is a suicide attempt survivor. This portion is republished with her permission.
….I read an article today that my friend’s mother wrote about when she heard of her son’s death and it was like all of a sudden my heart was being ripped open.
I couldn’t tell you why or how but starting from in between my lungs, everything in me felt like it was being pushed to either side of my ribs … Read more...
The #umatterchallenge program Feb 21, 2017.
Around August of 2015, two months after Charles’ suicide, I got the idea that I needed to develop a program for middle and high school students.
Of course, it didn’t come to me then. I was too overwhelmed with grief and my thoughts were too scrambled and unorganized.
By February 2016, I was frustrated that I couldn’t make it come together. I had more ideas but they didn’t fit together right.
Then I decided that I just didn’t need to worry about it. I needed to let go and trust that the idea would develop and … Read more...
We have sketchy information on the last two weeks of Charles’ life.
And at one point he insists he’s not doing drugs and wants to come home. But we have had multiple drug tests that say otherwise.
We tell him he has rent paid up at the sober house and he needs to stay there first. All he has to do is three days in detox and then he can go back to the sober house. That’s the path to home.
If he’s not doing drugs, it will be a piece of cake. And we are not entirely certain of … Read more...