I wanted to know what he was going to be

I was so curious. What would Charles become one day?

He was so quirky, funny, animated.

I struggled seeing him as an adult. But still I pondered and I wondered.

That’s what we all do, right? Wonder what our children will be one day. It’s the great reward.

When things got bad, I read more

Emotionally Naked car door inspires conversation

emotionally naked car magnet

I forget this magnet is on my car.

I’ll be inside the car and someone will ask or walk out from inside a store with a curious look on their face. “What’s that mean?” It always takes me a second to realize what they’re talking about since I can’t see the sign read more

10 things Charles did that drove me crazy

Charles and his dodgeball team. He’s on the far right.

Charles had a lot of habits that were challenging.

He was a nonconformist to the max, a dreamer to a fault, pushed the envelope non-stop and was the most stubborn person I ever met in my life. When you have a child like this, you learn a lot about rolling with things and setting boundaries early. Not read more

Right hand heart – #griefheart number 130

Right hand heart

This picture of Mike Stewart’s hand reminds me of a real beating heart. Am I crazy? Do you see the yellow halo over the R?2006_Heart_Musculature

From Mike: “My right hand man at FFS* Charles Rogers now my right hand man for life. Miss you and love you bro.”

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See read more

What I miss most about Charles

charles aubrey rogers

I miss that beautiful curly hair and his sense of humor. I miss his tall, skinny hugs and the way he altered his voice when he greeted his dog, Andy, and the dog’s reaction of pure joy. I miss the way he smiled with his eyes.

I miss the conversations we had in my office. Those days he’d read more

Angel Devil heart – #griefheart 123

Angel devil heart
Angel devil heart

I remember when Charles picked this shirt out. It remember him in it. Charles always felt he had an angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other. I see a lot of angel/devil/demon references in his music.

Drugs were definitely a demon and made him feel as such. He hated himself for what they made read more

Carry him in my heart – #griefheart number 114

Carry him in my heart
Carry him in my heart

The grief journey is all about learning to move forward by carrying the memory of your loved one in your heart. I want Charles here with me, of course. I will always want that.

I love this picture of him in elementary school with his bowl cut. A sweet memory of him before his brain told him he was read more

Wagging heart – #griefheart number 113

Wagging heart

My friend Bonnie’s daughter got a new pooch. She realized after this picture was taken that she had captured a heart on the dog’s rump. And she sent it to me to be part of the #griefheart project. My late son Charles loved, loved dogs. They loved him.

I asked her the new dog’s name. read more

Puppy love – #griefheart number 110

Puppy love
Puppy love

Charles loved his dog. He wanted one forever. He begged in middle school and I felt so guilty for saying no. I knew a dog would require my time no matter what my kids said about “doing everything.”

On his 15th birthday, we finally got Charles a dog. The world rejoiced! We got Andy from read more