These little heart charms from my friend Carole in Fayetteville. They are so cute–all unique and different. Part of Charles’ charm was his eccentricity, his love of people, family and friends. Then there was his sense of humor, his amazing timing, his writing and undeniable creativity and talent.
People were always drawn in by Charles from the time he was a baby. He was charming by accident. I think he didn’t want to let people down by letting them know he suffered from depression.
Randy used to read Charles the book, “Love you to the Moon and Back.” When he picked up his phone last week and typed in his password, there it was in his face. It took his breath away because he had not even thought about that book and had not looked it up. I smiled and told him he’d gotten his first “sign” from Charles.
I was stumped until today on how to illustrate the concept of a moon and a heart when I saw the swiss cheese in our refrigerator. Even though he’s … Read more...
Charles loved the stage. And it loved him. Stand up comedy, rapping, plays. I spoke here June 15, 2016 in Richmond, VA about our journey since losing him to suicide at age 20 and the #griefheart project. Such a supportive crowd for Talk20 Richmond. I saw the face and thought, “That’s a #griefheart!”
From his drama teacher at Wasatch Academy where he graduated high school.
“I brought a group of Comedy class students to Cedar City where Off the Cuff, a professional group of Improvisers, graciously allowed us to perform with them. Charles was amazing and … Read more...
Charles pretty much had the worst diet ever. If it was a processed food, he loved it. And he loved those brown sugar cinnamon pop tarts. Oh how I worried about his teeth.
I didn’t buy pop tarts but Randy would buy them “for the kids.” When I saw these in the pantry today (can’t use that “bought them for the kids excuse any more), it reminded me of Charles and made me smile.
Charles loved games! Every single kind of game. Couldn’t ever get enough of them. When he was little and wanted to read, he loved the phonics game. He loved chess and played that with his Dad. He was in the chess club for a while and played at The Family School in upstate NY. He was pretty good.
It always amazed me that this kid with ADHD had the patience to play chess. But Charles loved strategy and for some reason he could concentrate on a game. Probably because it meant more to him than math homework … Read more...
Charles had a heart of gold. Yes, he suffered from depression. Ultimately succumbed to an addiction to heroin and died by suicide.
But the person underneath the illness of addiction was a sweet, thoughtful person who cared about others. My sweetheart of a child was imperfect. He was stubborn. He was his own person. I do wish he was here with me. But I’ll have to carry him in my own heart instead.
Charles was all heart and This is part of a card sent to Charles by his beloved theatre group in his sophomore year (I think) in high school and Mrs. Fretwell, his favorite teacher ever. Charles had cracked his skull, supposedly on a skateboard accident. But later we found out he’d cracked his skull “car surfing.”In his sophomore year, Charles was engaging in riskier and riskier behavior which is, by the way, a sign of suicide and depression.–that cavalier attitude about life being a red flag.
This accident in the hospital was the first time Charles took opiates. We had been
For me, the birthday is the hardest. I imagine what he’d be doing at the same time his picture has not aged and he is forever frozen at age 20. His friends have moved forward, graduated from college, gotten jobs, gotten married. He turns a year older to our family but the day is not preceded with the typical Charles banter of what kind of celebration we are going to have on his big day.
Happy birthday my love. You would have been 21 today, April 26, 2016. I will carry you in my heart forever.… Read more...