Mystery heart— #griefheart number 218


So my friend Connie goes out to her mailbox and low and behold this is on her driveway. From where? She doesn’t know. When she went back out, it was gone. Her son is out there somewhere. Unfortunately, her family has suffered intensely from her son’s addiction for over 12 years.

Those

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Recovery heart – #griefheart number 190

Recovery heart
Recovery heart

A neighbor donated their car to Sherry, who has been in recovery for a year. When she sent me the picture, I saw that she was wearing a heart on her shirt.

It made me think about my own recovery from the loss of my son–how hard it’s been, how I have started to heal emotionally.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain

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Half hearted– #griefheart number 163

half-hearted
Half hearted

Some days my efforts for getting up and dressed are half hearted. I do it anyway because lying about in bed won’t make me feel better.  There are times you have to fake it before you make it. Losing a child to suicide is so devastating, many days you can’t believe it happened.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain

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Infinity heart – #griefheart number 161

Infinity heart
Infinity heart

An infinity heart is an “I love you forever heart.” I love Charles forever and ever even though he’s not here any longer.

This is actually a tattoo on the arm of my friend Beka Lombardo who

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Love an addict – #griefheart number 159

love-an-addict

Many of us love or have loved an addict. Their disease is not who they are and I want you to know that even when they are actively using, their real selves are alive and suffering. I can see from Charles’ rap lyrics before his suicide that he felt deeply when he was using. That he hated

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Puzzled heart – #griefheart number 154

Puzzled heart
Puzzled heart

My heart is often puzzled. Why did this happen? Why didn’t I know? Why wouldn’t he admit to suffering from depression?

I can only speculate and his lyrics have helped me figure it out as much as I will ever know. It’s just really hard to put the pieces of your life back together

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Oyster heart – #griefheart number 152

Oyster heart
Oyster heart

This oyster heart reminds me of all the family beach trips we took over the years at the Outer Banks. The last trip we took, Charles was suffering a depressive episode and it was hard to get him out of the basement room. He always denied suffering from depression which makes you truly feel helpless

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Waterspot heart – #griefheart number 151

Waterspot heart
Waterspot heart

This heart will disappear in the hot sun. The love for my son who died by suicide will never disappear.

Thanks to Bethany for seeing this and snapping a picture before it vanished.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by #griefheart category.

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Beaded heart – #griefheart number 150

Beaded heart
Beaded heart

These are the beads from the Out of the Darkness walk. Each color strand represents a particular loss. I was part of the bead ceremony which is an opportunity to honor our loved one and our loss. Here’s what the strands represent.

White – Lost a Child Red – Lost a Spouse or

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