Dear frozen parents

There are times that the mental illness or addiction of a loved one leaves you completely and utterly unable to act. Immobile. Stunned. Catatonic.

You are overwhelmed and don’t know where to start so you shut down completely. You just want all of it to go away. There are too many layers to tackle. Too many problems you can’t solve. Many times your loved one is not compliant either, making it that much more difficult.

You are so worried about hiding your ugly family secret, you start to implode and unknowingly make the situation worse. You are so secretive, you … Read more...

The day I rescued my human from herself

by Astro

My name is Astro and I have the best job in the world as a service dog to a human named Helyn who was in the army.

She suffers from PTSD and vertigo. She must have seen some bad things in the army way before we were family. I know she did because she has days that she shakes a lot. And I lay my head on her knee and look up at her to comfort her. Because I am good at that.

I go with her everywhere. We are a team but we are much more than … Read more...

A journey of agony

Every time I hear a parent has lost someone to suicide, I breaks my heart to think of the journey ahead of them.

Those feelings that your love was not enough to keep your child here.

Those feelings that your child made a choice to leave you.

Those thoughts that you could have done something to prevent this and the awful recurring coulda, woulda, shouldas that plague you for days, months and even years after.

The fear of not knowing what lies ahead or how to manage life going forward. How do you keep a job? How do you stay … Read more...

How to write a suicide note

suicide note
  • U.S. Peer warm line: When you call, you talk to someone like you who has also been hurting and wanted to end it at one point in their lives: 1-866-400-6428
  • U.S. Suicide Hotline 1-800-273-8255
  • U.S. Crisis text line 741-741
  • Suicide hotlines for other countries

I am sorry you are feeling such pain you want to kill yourself and write a final letter to your loved ones. It must be so awful to feel that bad.

If you are looking up how to write a suicide note, then you must have people who love you. Not everyone does.

I can only … Read more...

My oldest baby is now 25

December 7, 1992, Pearl Harbor day, Richard was born. He was a tough birth with agonizing back labor and he came out sunny side up with a true knot in his umbilical cord. That child did flips in my uterus. Literally.

But he was OK. He was an infant athlete and could hold up his head and scrunch crawl the day we got home. By six months, Richard was talking in full sentences. By seven months, he was walking. It was so funny seeing a toddler walk under tables.

Richard got little attention from us his senior year in high … Read more...

Fighting and surviving your mind every day is exhausting

by Paul Buskey

Suicide. Most people cannot comprehend. You should be grateful if you’re one of them.

I’m happy for you but don’t throw words out like “selfish” and “crazy” to describe someone who has suffered thoughts of suicide. How are you able to comment and pass a judgment if you don’t understand? Have you lived in those shoes?  Thoughts of suicide are most often the result of an illness just as real as a physical one.

Let’s make something clear first. I’m not a danger to myself so please don’t call the cavalry. I’m not looking for sympathy or … Read more...

Video note to Alexis who is being bullied and wrote a suicide note

To Alexis in North Carolina, this video note is for you young lady. I am hoping I got to you in time. Thanks for being so brave and leaving the comment you did on my website. That is a courageous first step.

Comment below. Charles, please watch over her. (I know that’s crazy but we moms who’ve lost a child talk to our kids and think they hear.)

So you are contemplating suicide…

Read more...

Inspiring comments on emotionally naked

These are the comments that make me cry. Crying from joy. These are people who found this blog from Google searches. Unbelievable messages of hope that I wanted to share. There are now thousands of comments. So many good ones.

The name will take you right to the comment. The headline will take you to the post.

From Reece So you are contemplating suicide

Tonight I was contemplating on ending my life. Feeling depressed, sad, defeated and just plain tired. I looked online on how to hang myself and accidentally came across this post. Safe to say, this has … Read more...

What is your glimpse of hope?

Charles once wrote, “Through all the terror, I can catch beauty in a glimpse of hope.

When I feel lost and broken, I think of that phrase. How could I possibly have hope after losing my son to suicide?

But something happened because of this tragedy.

My capacity for love grew.  Which restored my hope in myself.

Read more...

Dear people who are tired of me

You must be so bored with all my posts about suicide, addiction and mental illness. Why on earth would I continue to assault you with my tirade of posts, presentations and videos about these awful subjects? Why can’t I just get the hell over it? I mean all this shit is not going to bring back my precious son, right?

I lived this insipid system known as the mental health system. Endured criticism, lack of support and humiliation and shame from the people I expected and paid to help us.  I lost a child because of it.

Most of you … Read more...