Category: Suicide

Judge less

As a result of what you’ve gone through, you are a better human being and/or a better parent. You are more humble, more compassionate, less judgmental and more apt to be selfless givers.

We are proud of our journey and what we have gone through and overcome. It has changed us forever. We are not ashamed of our loved ones who suffer from an addiction or mental illness or are afraid of what people will think of us because they do or did.

Acceptance. That’s such a good place to be even though we’d never choose how we got there. … Read more...

Team Charles in memory of my youngest child

team charles

Team Charles 2017

In memory of my son Charles’ struggle with depression and addiction, and death by suicide, I invite you to come walk with me and my team at the Richmond Out of the Darkness Walk.

This is a walk to support those with lived experience, those who have survived a suicide loss and to remember those we lost. If you are a team member, I would like you to try to raise $200. That’s four $25 donations.

It means a lot to me to have a group of people and walk in honor of my son.

How

… Read more...

Ride to Stop Suicide Segment on WRIC

This is a two minute video from with our interview about the Ride to Stop Suicide Poker Run. Ned Morris from the Pipehitter’s Motorcycle Club who is hosting the event and I with WRIC anchor Kerry O’Brien. See the video.

Click to see the video

The event is Sat, Sept 23, 9am-2pm. Register here.

 
I didn’t find Charles after his suicide
… Read more...

Suicide prevention week

suicide prevention week

Everything I do for addiction and suicide prevention is in memory of my son Charles Rogers who died by suicide June 5, 2015.

After my world was shattered, I thought I’d reach a point when I didn’t think of Charles every day. I had no idea what grief was all about. I still do think about him every single day and I will until the day I die. Quite frankly, I want to.

When it first happened, I was shocked. I didn’t know the signs of suicide or what it was exactly. I heard the despair in his voice and … Read more...

Why don’t I talk much about religion?

If you express certain views, especially about religion, it can really rock someone else’s world. Politics can be the same way.

I remember when I lived in Alabama for a year. I can’t say it was my favorite state.

So I’m 16 and in high school and this classmate of mine asks me what religion we are. I tell her we are Episcopalian and my Dad is Atheist. I always respected that my Dad had his own beliefs.

I think once the methodist minister had an extramarital affair and then ran off with his young mistress in the dead of … Read more...

What do those thinking of suicide say?

I’ve published Charles’ tweets and facebook posts but these are examples from a wide variety of people who are thinking of suicide. All ages and genders.

These are real life examples shared with me by those who have lived experience and others from relatives of loved ones who have attempted or completed a suicide.

It is my hope that by seeing these examples, you don’t dismiss texts and social media posts as “trying to get attention.”

These are “invitations” to ask the question, “Are you thinking of suicide?” There are opportunities to intervene and prevent suicide.

Your job … Read more...

‘People choose to be depressed,’ said my father

by Logan, 13

trapped

Father.

A word that taunted me for years but seemed to give everyone around me an immense sense of joy.

I would ask myself constantly, “Why don’t I feel the same?” I knew why and I would remind myself what I had been taught about my feelings. They’re insignificant. My feelings and what I knew were just because I’m a teenager and “every teenager hates their parents.” But I didn’t hate my parents– at least not my Mother who had worked so hard to be OK.

Not only did I have depression, which made me feel like … Read more...

Latest article in Richmond Family Magazine

When a Child Dies by Suicide

7 Things I Wish I had Known About Depression and Suicide

Our state ranks forty-seventh for treatment of childhood major depression – the leading risk factor for suicide. That means seven out of ten Virginia kids most at risk for suicide don’t get the help they need.

My family lived that statistic. My son died from it. After years of struggle with depression, and a few months with addiction, one of the funniest and most popular kids in school – my 20-year-old son Charles – killed himself.

I don’t want anyone else to miss … Read more...

‘Oh yeah, I saw that coming!’

Said no one. Ever.

Maybe some small percentage of people saw a suicide of a friend or family member coming. I’ve not yet met that person though. And I’ve talked to hundreds. I am sure they are out there. But they aren’t the majority.

Most of the parents and people I talk with post suicide are shocked. Bewildered and left with questions they’ll probably never get answers to.

He was such a great guy!

She was such a fantastic athlete.

Kindest person I ever knew.

Cared so much for others.

He was so talented.

She had everything going for her.… Read more...

Ride to Stop Suicide, Richmond VA

See the Video

Ned Morris and I appeared on WTVR Virginia This Morning to Talk about the Poker Run in Richmond, VA to raise money for suicide prevention for youth in Virginia.

 Register for Ride to Stop Suicide

When: Sat, Sept 23, 2017, 9am-2pm

Where: Capital Ale House, 13831 Village Place Dr, Midlothian, VA 23114

Who: The Regulators Chapter of the Pipe Hitters Union Motorcycle Club is proud to host the ‘Ride to Stop Suicide’ on Saturday, September 23, 2017 to benefit Beacon Tree Foundation, advocates for youth mental health.

The Ride: The motorcycle ride is roughly 75-miles and 

… Read more...

In memory of Tyler James Dudek who died by suicide

by Christine Dudek

My only son, Tyler James Dudek, died by suicide.

He was born on October 6, 1997. I adored him from that very second and will continue to adore him until I stop breathing. I get up every morning and grieve him over and over again.

When I was 23, scared and insecure, his birth breathed purpose into my life. I would love and protect him from the cradle to the grave. I just figured it would end at my grave many years down the line.

Instead, I have a jar full of ashes

And questions that … Read more...

And the phone rings

by Dave Matthews

“Mr. Wilson. Come here. I need you.” And, thus, Alexander Graham Bell introduced the marvels of the telephone to the world. Not with words of joy and celebration, but with a call of urgent distress and concern.

If my Jr. High history serves me well, Mr. Bell had spilled some acid in his lab and was not even aware that Mr. Wilson heard his call for help through his new invention. To me, in my present life, that urgent call of distress was somewhat ominous – foreboding, if you will.

I’ve had my share of celebratory calls

… Read more...

Niagara before Surgery

Not a long one since we spent all day in Niagara, NY and Canada looking at waterfalls. I enjoyed myself so much.

Saw a black squirrel, too. Probably one of my favorite sites. I thought about how Charles and Richard would have taunted me with little risky stunts to give me heart attacks.

I looked at every fall and every bridge as a potential suicide risk for people, too. I guess I just can’t shake that and I see things through a different lens. Twenty to forty die by suicide at the falls every year. I don’t find that … Read more...

Burning Inside: Suicidal Thoughts Flares and Flames

reaching out

From Anne Moss: The anonymous author of this post suffers from the numbered items below. I’m so amazed at what he has overcome. He has gotten and kept a job and is now reaching out to help others. 

1) Sleep disorder (Birth, 1991)
2) Learning disabilities: learning receptive disorder and reading disorder (3 years old, 1994)
3) Anxiety disorder ( 17 or 18 years old, 2009)
4) Mood disorder ( 24 years old, 2015)

by an anonymous author 

On Tuesday, July 18, 2017, one of my friends, whom I met in college, told me through text messages that she wished … Read more...

Suicide, blame and forgiveness

blame

Suicide can be very divisive in families and there is often no forgiveness when it comes to this cause of death. People need someone to blame. Sometimes that’s self blame. Sometimes it is the girlfriend, the wife, the husband, the grandfather so on and so forth.

Blame is the result of not truly understanding suicide.

I hear stories of a parent who lost a son or daughter who was married and being barred from seeing their grandchildren due to a suicide.

I’ve heard of girlfriends being shut out of the family after her partner’s suicide and made to feel … Read more...