Suicide, blame and forgiveness


Suicide can be very divisive in families and there is often no forgiveness when it comes to this cause of death. People need someone to blame. Sometimes that’s self blame. Sometimes it is the girlfriend, the wife, the husband, the grandfather so on and so forth.

Blame is the result of not truly understanding suicide.

I hear stories of a parent who lost a son or daughter who was married and being barred from seeing their grandchildren due to a suicide.

I’ve heard of girlfriends being shut out of the family after her partner’s suicide and made to feel responsible for the death.

I see the public go into blame mode after a a sensationalized suicide/murder.

It’s a cause of death that inspires a lot of anger and finger pointing.

The truth is, suicide is the result of multiple factors: Family history, health, environment. With Charles, I could identify 6 reasons but I’m going to bet there were other contributing factors I didn’t even know about.

If your family has suffered a suicide and there is anger and blame, think about forgiveness. Families are lumpy and dysfunctional and never perfect. But they are your family. Ask yourself are you looking for a scapegoat?

Published by

Anne Moss Rogers

I am an emotionally naked mental health speaker, and author of the Book, Diary of a Broken Mind and co-author with Kim O'Brien PhD, LICSW of Emotionally Naked: A Teacher's Guide to Preventing Suicide and Recognizing Students at Risk. I raised two boys, Richard and Charles, and lost my younger son, Charles to addiction and suicide on June 5, 2015. I help people foster a culture of connection to prevent suicide, reduce substance misuse and find life after loss. My motivational mental health keynotes, training and workshop topics include suicide prevention, addiction, mental illness, anxiety, coping strategies/resilience, and grief. As talented and funny as Charles was, letting other people know they matter was his greatest gift. And now the legacy I try and carry forward in my son's memory. Mental Health Speakers Website. Trained in ASIST and trainer for the evidence-based 4-hour training for everyone called safeTALK.

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