Suicide, blame and forgiveness


Suicide can be very divisive in families and there is often no forgiveness when it comes to this cause of death. People need someone to blame. Sometimes that’s self blame. Sometimes it is the girlfriend, the wife, the husband, the grandfather so on and so forth.

Blame is the result of not truly understanding suicide.

I hear stories of a parent who lost a son or daughter who was married and being barred from seeing their grandchildren due to a suicide.

I’ve heard of girlfriends being shut out of the family after her partner’s suicide and made to feel responsible for the death.

I see the public go into blame mode after a a sensationalized suicide/murder.

It’s a cause of death that inspires a lot of anger and finger pointing.

The truth is, suicide is the result of multiple factors: Family history, health, environment. With Charles, I could identify 6 reasons but I’m going to bet there were other contributing factors I didn’t even know about.

If your family has suffered a suicide and there is anger and blame, think about forgiveness. Families are lumpy and dysfunctional and never perfect. But they are your family. Ask yourself are you looking for a scapegoat?

Published by

AnneMoss Rogers

AnneMoss Rogers is a mental health and suicide education expert, mental health speaker, suicide prevention trainer and consultant. She is author of the Book, Diary of a Broken Mind and co-author of Emotionally Naked: A Teacher's Guide to Preventing Suicide and Recognizing Students at Risk with Kim O'Brien PhD, LICSW. She raised two boys, Richard and Charles, and lost her younger son, Charles to addiction and suicide on June 5, 2015. She is a motivational speaker who empowers by educating and provides life saving strategies and emotionally healthy coping skills. As talented and funny as Charles was, letting other people know they matter was his greatest gift. And now that's the legacy she carries forward in her son's memory. Mental Health Speakers Website.

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