The secret to getting unstuck in grief

Nobody’s wants to feel the pain of grief. Nobody wants to feel pain, period.

The things that get us stuck are refusing to talk about it, feeling guilty for crying, not finding or accepting support.

‘Feeling it’ serves a purpose. As much as it sucks, that purpose is emotional healing. If we circle the wagons all the time, it leaks out in ugly ways. You are angry all the time or you might suffer a lot of health problems. And yes, your physical health is affected by your mental health. Society may separate the two but your body and your … Read more...

One reason to live

by Tamara Rollinson

tamara rollison
Tamara Rollinson

I remember when the Netflix series came out, “13 reasons Why.” I didn’t get past the preview, thinking I had enough real-life tragedy and wasn’t interested in immersing myself in such a sad story, regardless of the overarching messages it may have had.

I know death

I know what it is like to find the father of my child – my husband of years ago – dead from an overdose. Suicide was cause of death.

Logan

I know what it is like to whisper in my teenage son’s ear as he lies in … Read more...

Reflecting on the first 2 years after losing Charles to suicide

the first 2 years after my sons suicide

The first year

Shock. Numbness. Tears. I couldn’t figure out how I was going to live through this. But I made a bet with myself to move forward with my life. If I give up, who carries Charles’ legacy? Who fights for change?

It was frustrating how no one mentioned my child’s name for fear of “reminding” me. Like that’s something I could forget. Did any of us ever think that when we were on the other side? The side that was before our child died?

Probably. Maybe. Hard to remember.

It sort of made me feel like no one … Read more...

We don’t heal by holding grief in

You don’t “get over” the loss of a child, or any other un-timely loss. You simply get used to living with grief by incorporating it into your life.

Grief can’t be denied or buried, stuffed or ignored. You can’t refuse to acknowledge it. It can’t be put on hold.

Booze and drugs won’t fix it.

The only way I know how to deal with it is to let it happen. Dive right in. What other choice do we have?

Time doesn’t heal grief

Time helps.

It’s the act of seeking and getting help, taking care of yourself, giving back and … Read more...