Nobody’s wants to feel the pain of grief. Nobody wants to feel pain, period.
The things that get us stuck are refusing to talk about it, feeling guilty for crying, not finding or accepting support.
‘Feeling it’ serves a purpose. As much as it sucks, that purpose is emotional healing. If we circle the wagons all the time, it leaks out in ugly ways. You are angry all the time or you might suffer a lot of health problems. And yes, your physical health is affected by your mental health. Society may separate the two but your body and your brain do not. They have no idea what society is doing and they don’t follow trends.
Dive in. That’s my philosophy.
Otherwise you’ll get stuck in painful places for a lot longer than you’d want.
You’d rather take a magic pill. Hell, I’d rather take a magic pill and fast forward through all this. But if you did that, you’d be cheating yourself out of the process of developing healthy coping skills. You’d be cheating yourself out of your own life story. You’d be cheating yourself out of the transformation of becoming extraordinary.
Ironically, happiness is not found by chasing happiness. That level of joy comes only from having been through shit. Most of us here qualify.
So there it is. The big secret. Allowing yourself to feel it.