Grieving parents no longer have these worries

by Tamara Rollison

Logan and his mom, Tamara

Paying a huge college tuition bill.

He never made it to college.

Getting complaints from neighbors of loud noise and craziness.

He did have some humdingers of parties in his day.

Wondering where he is…messing with drugs…receiving a call from jail to bail him out…hooking up with read more

I still struggle

Right after Charles’ suicide, the only way I got through those first few weeks after my family left was to remind myself that it will never hurt as much as it did when we got that unbearable news.

A few months later I thought “getting better” or moving forward would mean I wouldn’t read more

The day I realized I was breakable

I realized I was vulnerable when my first child was born.

I realized I was breakable the day I lost my son Charles to depression.

As Charles once wrote, “Life can crush your perfect world in under a second.” And while my life was far from perfect before he died, my world was completely read more

Is your grief worse than someone else’s?

Let’s face it. Losing a child hurts. Period. It’s devastating. So devastating you wonder how you will go on. You wake up every day for months and then it dawns on you that your worst nightmare is actually true.

It can’t hurt more.

All I can say is that a suicide is a loss like read more

Reflecting on the first 2 years after losing Charles to suicide

the first 2 years after my sons suicide

The first year

Shock. Numbness. Tears. I couldn’t figure out how I was going to live through this. But I made a bet with myself to move forward with my life. If I give up, who carries Charles’ legacy? Who fights for change?

It was frustrating how no one mentioned my child’s name for fear of read more

6 myths about grief after losing a child

There are lots of grief myths and I’m busting a few of the most glaring ones from my point of view. Many think grief is all emotional symptoms but grief has many physical symptoms, too.

1. You will get over it

It’s not a matter of “getting over it.”  It’s a matter learning to live without read more

Grief writes me a love letter

Dear Anne Moss,

I didn’t mean to hurt you. I numbed you at first because I had to protect you. One can take only so much pain and agony at once.

I watched you in your agonizing moments knowing that these would be building blocks to emotional healing. You suffered under my weight and tried read more

The Emotional ICU known as grief

From Anne Moss. Logan suffered from anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation and an eating disorder.

By Tamara Rollinson

Logan Neale died in an accidental truck crash in July 2016 at 19. He suffered from mental illness and was very open about his struggles

Grief hits you on many levels. Loss of a job. Loss of a marriage. Death of your parents, friends and loved ones. Death is final. No turning back.

Done. Forever in this life time.

There read more

Half hearted– #griefheart number 163

half-hearted
Half hearted

Some days my efforts for getting up and dressed are half hearted. I do it anyway because lying about in bed won’t make me feel better.  There are times you have to fake it before you make it. Losing a child to suicide is so devastating, many days you can’t believe it happened.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain read more

Charles always reached out

If there was one consistent theme about Charles, it was that he always reached out. He reached out to kids who were not always visible to others and to ones who were highly visible as well.

Charles at Wasatch Academy in Utah
Charles at Wasatch Academy in Utah

He put himself at risk socially doing this. But unlike other kids his age, he didn’t care.

He’d put read more