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One reason to live

by Tamara Harvey Braswell

I remember when the Netflix series came out, “13 reasons Why.” I didn’t get past the preview, thinking I had enough real-life tragedy and wasn’t interested in immersing myself in such a sad story, regardless of the overarching messages it may have had.

I know death

I know what it is like to find the father of my child – my husband of years ago – dead from an overdose. Suicide was cause of death.

Logan

I know what it is like to whisper in my teenage son’s ear as he lies in ICU … Read more...

My alter ego soothes my fear of fading memories

charles-beach

Me: Some days I feel like his memory will fade and I will not remember all that I want to remember

Alter Ego: You won’t forget the really important things

Me: But I want to remember everything

Alter Ego: Even with the ones who are living, you forget things. It’s not possible to remember everything

Me: Sometimes when I think about this, my breathing is shallow and I feel panicky. The memories are all I have

Alter Ego: It’s that feeling that it can’t be real. His death, I mean

Me: Exactly. I feel like if I move forward, Read more...

Emptiness

There are days I feel empty.

When nothing fills the hollow,

Erases the longing,

Or soothes the dull ache.

It doesn’t last as long.

Or feel as acute as it did.

But it still hurts.

Feels very surreal.

It hangs on my heart like a weight.

Before it melts away.

It’s grief reminding me,

I still love my child,

Who died by suicide.

Read more...