We don’t heal by holding grief in

You don’t “get over” the loss of a child, or any other un-timely loss. You simply get used to living with grief by incorporating it into your life.

Grief can’t be denied or buried, stuffed or ignored. You can’t refuse to acknowledge it. It can’t be put on hold.

Booze and drugs won’t fix it.

The only way I know how to deal with it is to let it happen. Dive right in. What other choice do we have?

Time doesn’t heal grief

Time helps.

It’s the act of seeking and getting help, taking care of yourself, giving back and allowing yourself to grieve that helps you heal.

You will always have an empty seat at the table and a place in your heart that hurts. Over time the pain becomes less acute. Your tears and your grief represent the love you have for the one you lost.

Grief is your connection to the person you lost. That despair you feel is a building block to emotional healing.

Your life is changed forever, but that doesn’t mean it’s done, or over.

Because you are still here.

And your loved one’s legacy or struggles will be lost in anonymity if you are not there to tell the story.

You should tell your story.

You should say their name. Because you did not erase your loved one from your family tree. Or your life.

Published by

Anne Moss Rogers

I am an emotionally naked mental health speaker, and author of the Book, Diary of a Broken Mind and co-author with Kim O'Brien PhD, LICSW of Emotionally Naked: A Teacher's Guide to Preventing Suicide and Recognizing Students at Risk. I raised two boys, Richard and Charles, and lost my younger son, Charles to addiction and suicide on June 5, 2015. I help people foster a culture of connection to prevent suicide, reduce substance misuse and find life after loss. My motivational mental health keynotes, training and workshop topics include suicide prevention, addiction, mental illness, anxiety, coping strategies/resilience, and grief. As talented and funny as Charles was, letting other people know they matter was his greatest gift. And now the legacy I try and carry forward in my son's memory. Mental Health Speakers Website. Trained in ASIST and trainer for the evidence-based 4-hour training for everyone called safeTALK.

2 thoughts on “We don’t heal by holding grief in”

  1. I love this one Anne Moss. It reminds me of this passage from Glennon Doyle Melton’s “Love Warrior”. “Grief is loves souvenir. It’s our proof that we once loved. Grief is the receipt we wave in the air that says to the world: Look! Love was once mine. I loved well.”

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