We don’t heal by holding grief in

You don’t “get over” the loss of a child, or any other un-timely loss. You simply get used to living with grief by incorporating it into your life.

Grief can’t be denied or buried, stuffed or ignored. You can’t refuse to acknowledge it. It can’t be put on hold.

Booze and drugs won’t fix it.

The only way I know how to deal with it is to let it happen. Dive right in. What other choice do we have?

Time doesn’t heal grief

Time helps.

It’s the act of seeking and getting help, taking care of yourself, giving back and allowing yourself to grieve that helps you heal.

You will always have an empty seat at the table and a place in your heart that hurts. Over time the pain becomes less acute. Your tears and your grief represent the love you have for the one you lost.

Grief is your connection to the person you lost. That despair you feel is a building block to emotional healing.

Your life is changed forever, but that doesn’t mean it’s done, or over.

Because you are still here.

And your loved one’s legacy or struggles will be lost in anonymity if you are not there to tell the story.

You should tell your story.

You should say their name. Because you did not erase your loved one from your family tree. Or your life.

I refuse to bury my son’s memory

Published by

Anne Moss Rogers

I am the mother of two boys and the owner of emotionally naked, a site that reached a quarter million people in its first 18 months. I am a writer and professional public speaker on the topics of suicide, addiction, mental illness, and grief and currently working on getting a book published. I lost my youngest son, Charles, 20, to suicide June 5, 2015. As talented and funny as Charles was, letting other people know they matter was his greatest gift. And now the legacy I try and carry forward in my son's memory.

2 thoughts on “We don’t heal by holding grief in”

  1. I love this one Anne Moss. It reminds me of this passage from Glennon Doyle Melton’s “Love Warrior”. “Grief is loves souvenir. It’s our proof that we once loved. Grief is the receipt we wave in the air that says to the world: Look! Love was once mine. I loved well.”

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