In addition to my first reader, a writer named Susan in Maine, I’m letting some of my family members read the manuscript of my first book. I asked Richard if he wanted to read it. He did. And he started in the car on the drive down to the Outer Banks vacation.
When we arrive in Duck, North Carolina we decide we have to have the legendary crab cakes from Blue Point for lunch. As soon we step … Read more...
by Tammy Ozolins
On April 30, 2018 my world came crashing down when my daddy died.
He had been sick and even though I knew he would not be around for Christmas this year, I did expect to go home this summer and see him, and obviously that did not happen. I will remember this day like it was yesterday. I have two other brothers that live in the same city as me and my brother called me that Sunday and told me that it was time for us to come home because he had taken … Read more...
by Andrea Giannini
I write this as a suicide attempt survivor, an addict in recovery, and a survivor of sibling suicide who also suffered addiction.
There was a point in time where I worked for a company full of empty promises and lacked any kind of empathy. During this time period, I lost my brother, Josh Giannini, to suicide because he could no longer live with his demons.
But this isn’t about Josh; he’s had his moment of fame through this amazing outlet of a blog. This is about the support I received during and after the death and … Read more...
So late Saturday night look who I picked up from the airport. Richard flew in from LA to spend a week with family. I don’t think I will ever be used to him living 3k miles away. Good lord I miss my son. An only son, now.
Back in eighth grade I knew he’d move to LA. He was so into film then. I remember thinking, “How will I live with him way out there on the west coast?”
I knew how much Charles loved Richmond. At least he’d be close by.
I’m going to enjoy my week with my … Read more...
This is for those who support children and teens returning to school after the loss of a parent, sibling, grandparent or other close loved one to suicide. I’m not an expert on this so I am redirecting you to the resource that is!
One of the primary things parents and caregivers can do is to open a dialogue with children about returning to school. This gives the child an opportunity to express how they’re feeling and any concerns they have.
Updated 6/27/2021-These grief books have been recommended by my tribe here on Emotionally Naked– both men and women. I’ve tried to organize them as best I can.
This email contains Amazon Affiliate links. When you make a purchase through these links, the blog gets a few cents at no extra cost to you. At $5 per month, it’s hardly funding my passion for yachting.
Table of contents: Click to go to that section.
Bereavement policies suck. At most places of employment, you get a week. And then you come back full time which is like a tsunami hitting you in the face. It’s so hard doing real life things such as grocery shopping, paying bills, and having to make a living after losing a child.
I think going back to work is not a bad thing. I just think at first, no one needs to go back full time after one week off. I feel like I could have used a little more time off at the beginning but I was a co-owner … Read more...
At first, following anything with more than two steps was impossible.
The grief would surround me and literally take me to the floor where I would try to escape it. Like I could squeeze out of its way or hide from it. The emotional pain was so intense, it hurt physically.
I was not a great driver. I came way too close to having a major accident or causing one. Very close. I did back into a post in a parking lot.
I got lost going to the drug store and had to use the GPS for every single destination … Read more...
Prior to losing my son in 2015, I didn’t even know there was a bereaved parent’s month. I’m glad you found us, though. Because many of us who subscribe to this tribe know this pain.
The sculpture above is called Melancholy by Albert György and it is on display in Geneva, Switzerland. It aptly captures the unfillable hole that is left when a parent loses a child.
I will say my hole felt that big at first. Thankfully, it doesn’t feel that big now. Time has softened the pain. But losing a child is not like other losses because it’s … Read more...
I would have never thought this was possible. Especially in the early days. when my heart hurt so much I thought I would implode. But when people came by the house, helped me plan the service, helped me pack and move when I could barely put one foot in front of the other, I felt it then. That bloom in the chest like I had not experienced before.
It literally feels like my heart swells up.
I have always been an empathetic person. But now? It’s like it’s taken over me. Maybe because Charles was an empath. Maybe it’s just … Read more...
Model your Emotionally Naked T-shirt so I can add it to my gallery. I want to make some quick videos with the tribe! Like the one below.
Seventeen seconds.
I didn’t get all of you in this round. But I will be making more of these! I’ve been playing with this new toy, Adobe Spark.
Charles and I share this lack of a gift for editing video. Richard got all of it. Randy has never attempted it. (And that’s a good thing.)
Spread the word! Get the conversation going by having the guts to show you are emotionally … Read more...
It’s a simple question.
However, once the loss of a child is acknowledged in a memorial service and everyone else gets back on the bus, those of us who have lost a child still struggle. If it’s a stigmatized death like suicide or drug-related death, there are additional struggles that come with having lost a child to a “less noble” cause of death.
The question is have you asked your friend or relative how they are? How they are coping months after when no one else is asking or bringing meals?
You guys ask me because I have this blog. … Read more...
by Amy Schmidt
It was February 11, 1981. That was the day my whole universe changed. I was 7 years old and I remember walking into the kitchen, seeing my mom holding the phone in her hand. Tears were streaming down her pale face, with what I now recognize as a look of shock and grief. I tried asking her what was wrong, but she quietly shook her head and shooed me out of the room.
My next memory is her sitting my 3-year-old … Read more...
So what was year three like compared to the previous ones? I will say that the loss has softened some. The edges of my grief are not as jagged and it’s more of a dull ache.
Cries are most often softer compared to the violent break downs, screaming at windows and fist pounding that characterized my initial grief. The ugly, raw, new grief. Now it just sort of settles over me like a lazy dark cloud.
When I think back, it’s hard to believe I had the wherewithal to plan a funeral (with help), write an obituary, pack up … Read more...
The end of grieving season ends with Charles’ death anniversary on June 5.
In the mean time, I’m simply sluggish, tired, and unmotivated lately. I wondered if I was getting sick then I realized, “Oh, it’s the grief.” That undercurrent of heaviness, the desire to just sit with his pictures. Everything takes more effort.
I have learned to live with it. The grief. It took a long time to learn that it was not just going to go away. I have come to expect it. And sometimes even appreciate it. How it forces me to slow down and take time … Read more...
