How are you coping?

It’s a simple question.

However, once the loss of a child is acknowledged in a memorial service and everyone else gets back on the bus, those of us who have lost a child still struggle. If it’s a stigmatized death like suicide or drug-related death, there are additional struggles that come with having lost a child to a “less noble” cause of death.

The question is have you asked your friend or relative how they are? How they are coping months after when no one else is asking or bringing meals?

You guys ask me because I have this blog. … Read more...

Dear friend


The last time I saw you, my son was alive. My son Charles grew up with yours. Yet when we ran into each other, you didn’t mention his name. In fact, you looked like you were afraid of me. I think if you had had enough warning, you would have avoided me all together.

When I lost my son, I did not erase him from my family tree. Nor did I erase him from my memory. But when I run into people who say nothing, it makes me feel like my child never counted for anything.

You worry that you’ll …