The end of grieving season ends with Charles’ death anniversary on June 5.
In the mean time, I’m simply sluggish, tired, and unmotivated lately. I wondered if I was getting sick then I realized, “Oh, it’s the grief.” That undercurrent of heaviness, the desire to just sit with his pictures. Everything takes more effort.
I have learned to live with it. The grief. It took a long time to learn that it was not just going to go away. I have come to expect it. And sometimes even appreciate it. How it forces me to slow down and take time to remember Charles–all the stuff I loved the most about him.
I now take advantage of this time to curl up with memories. I’ve learned to be less demanding on myself and tell people why I’m not myself.
It’s a lifelong journey and it evolves. I have evolved with it.