I have always and still do try to cover up when I am feeling out of sorts.
I put on my mask and get through the day, but what people do not realize is when I am home I let it all out. My friends and family are who I rely on to get through the rough times, but at the same time I do not want to bother them with my bipolar disorder. I always feel like they will get sick of me.
My favorite song of all time is called The Dance by Garth Brooks it has a lot of meaning to me.
First, it reminds me of a special friend of mine, Brian, but we called him Rini. He and I would dance at the various dances we had at school. We were very close and shared a lot of memories –school, parties etc.
On April 30, 2018 my world came crashing down when my daddy died.
He had been sick and even though I knew he would not be around for Christmas this year, I did expect to go home this summer and see him, and obviously that did not happen. I will remember this day like it was yesterday. I have two other brothers that live in the same city as me and my brother called me that Sunday and told me that it was time for us to come home because he had taken … Read more... “How can I survive grief with bipolar disorder”
It remember it so clearly. It was during my college years and I had been out drinking with my friends, a weekend routine back then. I ended up feeling very depressed. I had been on an antidepressant but I still drank and my boyfriend and I got into a fight that night.
Late one night I came home depressed. Living with Bipolar is difficult enough, but the depression was getting the best of me. So, I decided I had enough and I took a handful of my mom’s sleeping pills and was excited to be ending my life.