Category: Suicide

Just finished first draft of my book

Wow. I did it. First draft. By no means done but for the most part I had a working draft! Once I got started, I just went with it. Now the part where I need to market it to publishers. But first figure out which ones I might like to work with.

The book is co-written by my late son, Charles Aubrey Rogers, and features a lot of his lyrics as chapters. It’s inside the mind of someone who suffers mental illness, addiction and has frequent thoughts of suicide. I had no idea until I read his notebooks how … Read more...

Presenting to teens about mental illness and resilience

I wanted to thank you for sharing your story and taking the time to engage with the youth. Many teens left your class reflecting on life and ready to open up about the issues they were facing with the other adult teen/youth workers at the YMCA Leader’s Club Regional rally.

Your class was a bridge that encouraged teens and some of the attending parents to have those difficult conversations about self love, authenticity, depression and teen suicide. One teen in particular, who identifies as transgender, expressed how your class helped him identify and accept who he is becoming. He also

… Read more...

Whitten and Me

by Gray Maher

Whitten Maher

What an easy, adorable baby.  A sensitive, angelic little boy. We tried so hard to give him siblings but they were not to be. We would do our best for our only child, and I would wait for grandchildren.

Whitten and I were very close when he was little and spent all our time together. He was my buddy.

A smart, witty teenager.  A kind and serious young man. An over-thinker. A lonely philosopher.  A gay man who came out to us at 21.

It was a nonevent in many ways. I had known since … Read more...

The in-between world

The day Charles died,  I felt him at my left shoulder as I looked out onto the deck. I felt shudders through my body that I have never felt before.

This was back at our house on that Friday, just hours before I would find out about his suicide. I didn’t know he was dead yet. Still on the other side before you know. Blissfully naive. His dog felt it, too. That’s why Andy ran in circles that day. Both of us felt something and I swear if it was not for watching Andy go nuts, I would have thought … Read more...

How could I not know?

My son suffered from depression and addiction. Suicide never crossed my mind. How could I not know?

I know some people wonder that about kids who kill themselves. Kids who do drugs. Kids who stockpile weapons and shoot up schools. Kids who end up pregnant as teens. How is it we don’t know? Were we too busy? Too unconnected? Were we not religious enough? Did we not love enough?

No.

The truth is we can’t imagine our kids doing any of these things. And that’s how it happens. Because we are caught off guard. Way off guard. Sometimes our brains … Read more...

I can’t stop someone who wants to kill himself

That’s what a lot of people think. But it’s wrong.

Surprisingly, most of those who get the urge to kill themselves just want to stop the pain. In other words, they don’t necessarily want to kill themselves.

In Charles’ case, I had no idea he was considering suicide and had I known the signs of suicide, I would have seen these signs also known as “invitations.”

Not everyone that is thinking of suicide leaves these clues. I know of several where “clues” were so subtle, or practically nonexistent.  Charles did leave clues, however. The few I did see, … Read more...

Pack up the guilt and jettison it to Mars

So we’re going to do an exercise. We’re going to take all that guilt and package it up and send it away into the universe.

You ready?  Here we go.

All of you who feel guilty because you may have misjudged that shifting line of enabling or rescuing your loved one’s as it relates to addiction.

All of you still torturing yourself over your child’s suicide.

All of you who feel there was something you could have done to prevent that overdose.

All of you feeling guilty for sharing your grief.

Those signs you missed. That time you yelled at … Read more...

How I have dealt with my master’s suicide

by Andy Dog

My humans came home and they fell to the floor. I didn’t know what happened. I just knew it was really bad and they needed me. We were all piled on top of each other and the humans yelled and cried which upset me. And then, he never came back home. I never heard that squeaky voice calling me again.  He had gone away for a while but he always came back or I went to see him. Something really bad happened. The boy that was always awake was now gone.

I remember earlier that day when … Read more...

How to stay married after losing a child

You might think the death of a child would bring a couple closer but that’s not always the case. I think when a child dies, how people grieve and accept the loss differs. Sometimes there is blame, especially when it comes to suicide and overdose, making a difficult situation even worse.

I want you to know that astronomically high divorce rates after death of a child is apparently a myth and a study by Compassionate Friends showed that divorce rate of couples who lose a child is 16% and not the 80% that you often hear of. However, even these … Read more...

Gujanan Surywanshi’s journey out of the darkness of suicide

Gujanan- This is your page. We’ll use the comment feature below and that way we can see a timeline. This page is buried and backdated in thousands of posts. It will give us a place to follow your progress. We can move to email but so far my emails have not gotten to you.

Here’s where we’ll start.

Let’s start with a list of goals. Just send me your top 2-6 goals in life including the MBA, if you want a family etc.

And then you list five things for which you are grateful. 
So do just the two first … Read more...

I saved her from suicide. Then she died

by Kacy 

Note from Anne Moss: Kacy is 20 years old and from the Midwest. She’s also legally blind. She wrote this on a special phone for the blind. Pretty amazing story how she found the site. I hope you will comment and show your support in her grief. 

Lacie Mae was lucky to be alive. Until a few months ago….

This is a poem that she wrote to me about how I saved her life.

Poem by Lacie Mae

You stood there behind me
As I threatened to jump

Although everyone had left
You still chose to stay

And … Read more...

7 strategies we could implement to prevent school shootings

At 55 seconds into this video called Letter to God, Charles raps:

“Dear God…….Yesterday a school got shot up, God fell asleep and never got up. It was out there in Connecticut–you didn’t have to see their little faces on the internet. I doubt you even remember it. And if you do, I’m sorry for the lack of gratitude, But ignoring my prayers is the wrong attitude…”

After his friend Max sent me this video of Charles after his death by suicide, I remember understanding how adversely effected he was by the shooting tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary. At the … Read more...

Remembering Jeffrey Scott Maurer II

By Ms. Dawn Burton

My son Jeffrey Scott Maurer II, Jethrow to most, struggled with depression and drug addiction for many years and lost his battle. I always thought I would get “the call” but I thought he would OD.

Never in a million years did I think he would kill himself when he just found out he was having a baby boy–one he had wanted for a long time. He told everyone he was gonna get off the drugs before Lucca came. He picked that name and was so proud.

Jeff was a great uncle and would have made … Read more...

That day, I just wanted it all to stop

I felt totally out of it the day Charles called on June 4, the day before he killed himself.

The heroin addiction was still new and I was confused with the despair in his voice. I didn’t know how to identify what it was. I felt overwhelmed because not only could I not fix this, I had no idea what to do.

Should I take him somewhere? Where? What’s the matter with him? Why I am hearing what I’m hearing? What is he saying? Does he want help? Am I being manipulated again?

When I didn’t know what to do, … Read more...

AFSP Virginia First Policy Day 2018

We got our feet wet today at the General Assembly in support of American Foundation of Suicide Prevention. Haley Thompson worked like a dog to get everything set up. Abolishing the law that says suicide is a crime was defeated early in the session unfortunately. I’d really like to see this one passed.

We are supporting and want it to be mandatory that all school personnel trained in suicide prevention. Teachers spend more time with our children than most people. I know that it was a teacher that pointed out that Charles might be suffering from depression.  It is mandatory … Read more...