So we’re going to do an exercise. We’re going to take all that guilt and package it up and send it away into the universe.
You ready? Here we go.
All of you who feel guilty because you may have misjudged that shifting line of enabling or rescuing your loved one’s as it relates to addiction.
All of you still torturing yourself over your child’s suicide.
All of you who feel there was something you could have done to prevent that overdose.
All of you feeling guilty for sharing your grief.
Those signs you missed. That time you yelled at your loved one. The fact that you didn’t say ‘I love you’ or loaned your child money when you knew better. That time when you were more involved in your loved one’s recovery than you should have been because you wanted it for them so badly.
Or that last phone call you missed because you were in a meeting only to find out later it was your last. For all the guilt you feel because your child survived a suicide attempt or made it to recovery when others have lost their loved one. Everything having to do with another person that you have imagined is somehow all your fault.
Have I missed anything? I’m sure I have. Add it to the list. It all has to go!
Now here we go.
In your mind picture a tube. You are using a tube to package your guilt because it travels really well. Boxes are clunky and we can jettison a tube through a cannon-like object.
So in your mind, pack all that heavy guilt in the tube. You might have to stuff it all in there to make it fit but get it all in there. Feel you need an extra tube? Go ahead. They are free. I am giving them away because I am so wealthy I can afford to give away imaginary tubes. How’s that for generosity?
Now put that lid on real snug. Don’t let any of that guilt escape and reoccupy your mind.
It’s all stuffed in there. None left in your head. Or your heart.
Now imagine putting it into this cannon-like object, similar to a potato gun for lack of a better description. I have a picture above to help you. This is a special cannon-like object is made by Google since they own the world. Well Amazon might also own a big chunk, too, but for this we are going with Google.
If we use Amazon, some of the recent stuff I ordered might be late getting here because we have a boat load of guilt to ship into the universe.
Now aim towards Mars. No one lives there other than some paramecium like organisms and it’s cold as hell. All that guilt will evaporate in their atmosphere. I know this for sure because I looked it up on Google. I’m now an expert on guilt dissipation on Mars. You can’t imagine all the research and science that went into this and I won’t bore you with the details. That’s not for you to worry about. Trust me.
Now you are going to light a fuse and watch it travel down and light up the booster and watch that tube (or tubes) of guilt fly at the speed of light towards Mars. Even if it’s cloudy, it will get there. (Clouds are not really cotton. They just look like it.)
Boom! There is goes. Gone! Outa here! Ha. Such a feeling of satisfaction.
You are now officially guilt-free. Time to do a happy dance. If you are new in grief, it’s too soon for a happy dance and we’ll settle for one fist pump or even a sigh because at this point that may be all you can manage. In fact, we’ll even let you imagine all this from your bed in a bathrobe.
Now how do you feel? Lighter, huh? Yeah. I feel it, too.
Glad we could do this together. If it comes back, we can repeat. I have plenty of imaginary tubes.
I will feel guilty for some things the rest of my life. Not in a debilitating way mind you. Its just a fact and I’ll live with it. Just like the overall diminishing undercurrent of pain and sorrow. I accept the life sentence. Everyone is different but for me simply telling myself it’s all OK is just playing with words. But that’s not what I’m posting for. Has everyone been following the reaction to Florida shooting? It shows that the stigma of mental illness will never go away in some circles. The shooter had documented depression and ADHD. The problem with the terms being used to describe the shooter as insane monster, nuts, crazy, sicko, etc. paints those descriptions over everyone suffering mental illness. I see CNN had an article today about that very thing. Living in a world with stigma is just a unique dynamic we SOSL people have to deal with. Definitely takes a thick skin.
Yeah. It is very disturbing. He said he heard voices and he obviously had trauma a s a child. He was mentally ill not born a monster. So very sad. I need to write about it but still processing and reading.
I listen to all sides of the political spectrum and believe many things fall somewhere in between. So I was just listening to the extreme right in my car – Mark Levin. I couldn’t believe it. I was getting mad hearing him say gun availability is not a problem. I think it’s one aspect of the problem. But then he said the rhetoric surrounding the mental illness aspect of the recent shooting is a disservice to the majority of mentally ill people that are “nice people in families”. Wow. There’s hope.
I thought I was the only one who listened to alternate points of view! So few do that now. So polarized. I do that too. And it is all in the cracks. I don’t know if you saw my post earlier this week about what to do.
The power of forgiveness! I read a wonderful quote recently – something like “Forgiveness is setting a prisoner free, only to realize the prisoner was you.” I find peace when I tell myself I did the best I could at the time, and so did my loved one. Thanks for a wonderful start to my day.
I love that one. I repeat that one to myself as well.