That day, I just wanted it all to stop

I felt totally out of it the day Charles called on June 4, the day before he killed himself.

The heroin addiction was still new and I was confused with the despair in his voice. I didn’t know how to identify what it was. I felt overwhelmed because not only could I not fix this, I had no idea what to do.

Should I take him somewhere? Where? What’s the matter with him? Why I am hearing what I’m hearing? What is he saying? Does he want help? Am I being manipulated again?

When I didn’t know what to do, …