Category: Addiction/Substance Misuse

Collateral Damage

by Jenny Derr

The Derr Family

The effects of substance use disorder are so widespread, it truly is like throwing a brick in a pond – the ripples seemingly keep coming, a new one appearing as another moves out. That’s how the loss of Billy feels.

I often think of those beyond our immediate family who loved him and who are also impacted like the many ripples of this loss.

When it was confirmed that Billy died as a result of an overdose, it was so important to me that I tell the ones to whom he was closest. … Read more...

Dear Cosby High School Health Science Students,

I visited Cosby High School Health Science Students in Chesterfield County and presented on a topic no one wants to talk about: mental illness, addiction and suicide.

I told them my personal story about Charles. Actually, I taught two health science classes. Then we did a skit, “How heroin talked to Charles” and one dr Seuss-like poems on drugs and one on resilience. Voice was still awful but had a grand time.

After, these kids decided they wanted to send me letters to say thank you. Their idea. The most heartfelt, touching letters I have ever gotten. This is my … Read more...

Projecting a future is not productive

When Charles was using, way before he was addicted, I had a habit of projecting future scenarios.

After any police incident, I would then worry that he would rob a bank and end up in prison. In my scenario, he wouldn’t get into a good college because of a felony, have a hard time finding a job and a place to live. Since he was so thin and cute, he would end up someone’s bitch in prison.  What if he ended up a porn star?  I projected all kinds of batshit crazy future scenarios, none of which ever happened. I’d … Read more...

Are people that are addicted to opiates weak?

Do people relapse on opiates because they are weak? Is the fact they can’t stop using because they lack willpower?

Let’s just look at what it takes to go into recovery.

When someone goes into recovery, they face withdrawal first. I can’t speak to this in first person because I’ve never been through it. But Charles had and it looked brutal. Those that finally go into recovery often have no money, no place to live, no car, and few possessions. They might have lost their job and spent time in jail.

The behavior related to their illness has sometimes estranged … Read more...

A happening day for speaking up and out!

Friday started out with a message from Connie. “Are you interested in seeing Glenn Close at the Richmond Forum?” I’m thinking, whatever I have, it’s cancelled! Yes, I am interested! A friend of hers has tickets she can’t use.

Connie says Kristi is expecting my call. Kristi gives her tickets to me and my husband. So thoughtful and I’m so grateful. I run around all day jumping up and down like a 10-year old.

Glenn Close started Bring Change 2 Mind, a nonprofit about breaking the silence and stigma of mental health. It was like I won the lottery!… Read more...

Martin Luther King and culture shifts

When I get discouraged about how long it has taken me to make progress as it relates to youth mental health, a cause I’ve been pushing for the last eight years, I think about how hard it was for others.

As much progress as Martin Luther King made for civil rights, we’re still not there with equality in fairness as it relates to race. For example, African Americans and whites use drugs at similar rates, but the imprisonment rate of African Americans for drug charges is almost 6 times that of whites. Back in the 90s when we had a … Read more...

Harm reduction parenting

Harm reduction focuses on reducing negative consequences associated with drug misuse.

It does not attempt to minimize or ignore harm and dangers associated with drug misuse but instead accepts that drug use and addiction are conditions that are part of our culture. In short, harm reduction could be considered a shame reduction strategy because it acknowledges that the person is using and accepts that it is the way it is for now and meets drug users where they are.

The question is, could we integrate the harm-reduction ideas into a parenting style?

An example of harm reduction parenting would be … Read more...

Dear frozen parents

There are times that the mental illness or addiction of a loved one leaves you completely and utterly unable to act. Immobile. Stunned. Catatonic.

You are overwhelmed and don’t know where to start so you shut down completely. You just want all of it to go away. There are too many layers to tackle. Too many problems you can’t solve. Many times your loved one is not compliant either, making it that much more difficult.

You are so worried about hiding your ugly family secret, you start to implode and unknowingly make the situation worse. You are so secretive, you … Read more...

Thirty thousand smackaroos

Now that we have the funds and the approval from two schools, next up is planning the training. There are a lot of things to get together to make Preventure happen. Thanks for all your support.

I like this program because it focuses on both substance use and mental illness traits. In short, Preventure is an evidence-based school program associated with 30-80% reduction in adolescent substance use. This intervention focuses on teaching teens coping strategies to manage personality traits that predispose them to addiction and associated high risk behaviors.

Personality traits that predispose one to addiction include:

  • Sensation seeking
… Read more...

Your friend’s child who is using is not dead

You never ask your friend about the son who is not doing well. The child who suffers from addiction. You are afraid it won’t be good news. It never is. That child is either in rehab. Or using drugs. In some recovery house. Or in the hospital. You don’t want to remind your friend. You are worried you may say the wrong thing and then what? So you ask about other children. Other things.

Good God there hasn’t been good news about this child in five years. You are sure this friend wouldn’t want you to ask. It would be … Read more...

What is the Preventure Drug and Alcohol Prevention Program?

Support the Preventure pilot implementation in Virginia. All donations are DOUBLED through January 3, 2018–matched dollar for dollar by Newman’s Own Foundation. We are very close to our goal. 

Preventure is one of the few adolescent drug prevention programs in the 2016 US Surgeon General’s Landmark Report on Addiction.

Preventure is an evidence-based school program associated with 30-80% reduction in adolescent substance misuse. This intervention focuses on teaching teens coping strategies to manage personality traits that predispose them to addiction and associated high risk behaviors. Personality traits that predispose one to addiction include:

  • Sensation seeking
  • Impulsiveness
  • Anxiety Sensitivity
  • Hopelessness
… Read more...

A song to you from Bemo Prince to promote emotional healing

From Anne Moss: I am honored Bemo shared this inspirational song. It represents hope and faith in the face of tragedy. 

Song Title: Two Little Children

by Bremo Prince
I guess we all have different ways of dealing with pain and suffering. When my son Trey died from SIDS in 1968, I was only nineteen.  I did not understand why God would allow such a thing to happen.

I struggled with bitterness for several years and blamed the loss of my son on the lord and took my … Read more...

5 Mantras that kept me sane during Charles’ addiction

When I was losing it and started to make myself crazy by projecting all kinds of scenarios that had not happened, I would pull out my phone and read my mantras out loud to myself. I picked these up from others and from the literature in Families Anonymous meetings over the years.

1. Enabling, rescuing or weaving a safety net blocks recovery

Figuring out what “enabling” is can be complicated. So whatever we had defined it at that time is what I went with. It was simply important not to default to rescue mode.

If he wrecked the car, he … Read more...

Is addiction a disease or a choice?

Some people believe that using drugs is a choice. That it’s the person with addiction who is at fault because they dared to try drugs in the first place.

Most of us have abused a drug at some point in our lives–whether that’s a cigarette, alcohol, marijuana or  a prescription medication.

Most of us are able to stop.

But for those who are predisposed, the brain engages instantly. All of a sudden that drug fills in a blank their life has been missing.

I have kept this quote from Brian Cuban, who wrote the following in an article called  How … Read more...

Those who clam up have the hardest time

Everyone grieves differently. Everyone struggles with adjusting to a family member with addiction/mental illness differently.  But the one constant I have noticed is that people who don’t talk about it at all tend to get stuck and fold up within themselves.

I’ve been in that place way back when our journey with mental illness and drug addiction started with Charles. It wasn’t fun.

The more you talk, the better things are. Retreating within yourself and internalizing all of that pain ends up leaking out in unattractive ways.  Bitterness.  Anger. Inconsolable sadness and isolation.

Keeping all the hurt in your heart … Read more...