The most satisfying posts to write

Some posts are so cleansing to write. These were the posts that helped me let go of bitterness, resentment, anger, sadness and guilt. Or at least deal with it more effectively. Not all of these were popular. But they were cleansing to me and it didn’t matter to me if thousands read it or none.

The final 48 hours

Dear heroin, I f–ing hate you

I am so sorry

Forgiving myself

How could I resent your child’s cancer fundraiser?

The long arm of the law reaches down Charles’ pants

Please do not avoid the subject of my son who died

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A song to you from Bemo Prince to promote emotional healing

From Anne Moss: I am honored Bemo shared this inspirational song. It represents hope and faith in the face of tragedy. 

Song Title: Two Little Children

by Bremo Prince
I guess we all have different ways of dealing with pain and suffering. When my son Trey died from SIDS in 1968, I was only nineteen.  I did not understand why God would allow such a thing to happen.

I struggled with bitterness for several years and blamed the loss of my son on the lord and took my … Read more...

Early grief after loss of a child

This addresses the early grief of losing a child. Not to any specific cause of death although I lost my son Charles to suicide.

2 minutes, 12 seconds

What can you expect after that initial intense grief of the early days? Will it be like that forever? What happens after that?  I can’t say all the stages but I can tell you what grief has become for me over time.

I hope this helps. Because I remember wondering what was in store for me. Would I ever love again, laugh again, live again? You will. I can’t say how … Read more...

Flock of love— #griefheart number 245

Flock of love

I look at the sky a lot.

The clouds, in particular, are soothing to me since Charles’ suicide. I’m always amazed at how much entertainment is up there.

These birds formed a heart in New Mexico and Katherine caught it with her camera. It made me think of that Hitchcock movie, “The Birds.”

I remember watching the end of that movie with Charles. He didn’t see the whole movie and I remember him asking me a million questions but I couldn’t remember it exactly. He couldn’t believe it because he remembered every scene and every line in a movie … Read more...

Heavy Heart- #griefheart number 15

#griefheart heavy heart

Every limb feels heavy and the heart inside the body that carries them. I didn’t know grief had such a physical effect. Every move feels like I’m trudging through quicksand. One day I will feel lighter and it won’t press on me like it does now. But today, all the why’s about my son’s suicide are stalking me. I keep saying, “I will survive. I will survive.” And I will. I wish I knew how.

To my boy- You are weighing on my heart today Charles. One of those days I can hardly breathe. I’ve been reading your music and Read more...