Dear frozen parents

There are times that the mental illness or addiction of a loved one leaves you completely and utterly unable to act. Immobile. Stunned. Catatonic.

You are overwhelmed and don’t know where to start so you shut down completely. You just want all of it to go away. There are too many layers to tackle. Too many problems you can’t solve. Many times your loved one is not compliant either, making it that much more difficult.

You are so worried about hiding your ugly family secret, you start to implode and unknowingly make the situation worse. You are so secretive, you … Read more...

Bubble wrap parenting

Don’t want your kids to fail? Want to keep them safe? Want to know where your kids are every minute? Do you keep up with your kids grades and schoolwork to make sure it gets done?

You may be suffering from Bubble wrap parenting. Also referred to as helicopter parenting, this ailment means you shield your kids from harm. All harm including any failure whatsoever.

I hear parents say they tell me they “have” to monitor their child’s work because, guess what, they won’t get into a good college. What’s more, they start to spaz about this when kids are … Read more...

You can’t fix it. But you can make it worse

Watching your child or loved one self destruct with addiction is the hardest thing to watch. It’s like watching a person implode.

At first, we think we can fix it. We are sure we can. If we just want it enough, we can almost do it for them. We just need to know what to do. What directions to follow. Where to drop them off to be fixed. How much to pay.

But we can’t fix it.

We try, agonize, project, cry, pray, beg and lose ourselves in the process. We make their problem ours. After all, this is your … Read more...

You are great parents

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You have a child who is abusing or addicted to drugs. You have reached the end of your rope and your wallet. Your own health is declining and your emotional health is waning.

Your life is in chaos

You’ve dropped everything to run to the rescue multiple times.

You want to fix this.

This one is for the parents who have tried to help, have done everything, only to realize that nothing you have done has helped change your child’s behavior.

You are used up and you have decided to let go.

This is the hardest place in the world

Read more...