Everyone grieves differently. Everyone struggles with adjusting to a family member with addiction/mental illness differently. But the one constant I have noticed is that people who don’t talk about it at all tend to get stuck and fold up within themselves.
I’ve been in that place way back when our journey with mental illness and drug addiction started with Charles. It wasn’t fun.
The more you talk, the better things are. Retreating within yourself and internalizing all of that pain ends up leaking out in unattractive ways. Bitterness. Anger. Inconsolable sadness and isolation.
Keeping all the hurt in your heart is not “being strong.” It’s just plain stubborn. Human beings are meant to connect with one another, to share pain as well as happiness.
That does not mean you have to go as public as I have. You simply need to talk to someone, some group, a professional. Take your pick. But you need an outlet for all that agony.
Packing all that hurt into your broken heart will simply leave you more broken. Watching a loved one suffer or losing one is hard. Don’t go it alone.
6 thoughts on “Those who clam up have the hardest time”
When we share with others who understand our shame and stigma the pain for some reason is dissipated. ..dont isolate, reach out and know we all understand where you have been and are…we can sll gelp with where we will be!
Perfectly said Connie
Yes. Externalizing it and continually working at it. I’ve come so far since this video. Will always take some work particularly during the upcoming holidays. https://youtu.be/b5VNgtmHNG0
I think you are doing great David. And I don’t mean you are dancing a jig and wearing a clown costume but you strike me as grieving in a healthy way
The recovery community can be a safe space for those of us who have not yet been able to talk or meet up with people in-person. You do not need to be alone.
Recovery community for the substance users as well as parents! There are groups for both.