Those who clam up have the hardest time

Everyone grieves differently. Everyone struggles with adjusting to a family member with addiction/mental illness differently.  But the one constant I have noticed is that people who don’t talk about it at all tend to get stuck and fold up within themselves.

I’ve been in that place way back when our journey with mental illness and drug addiction started with Charles. It wasn’t fun.

The more you talk, the better things are. Retreating within yourself and internalizing all of that pain ends up leaking out in unattractive ways.  Bitterness.  Anger. Inconsolable sadness and isolation.

Keeping all the hurt in your heart is not “being strong.” It’s just plain stubborn. Human beings are meant to connect with one another, to share pain as well as happiness.

That does not mean you have to go as public as I have. You simply need to talk to someone, some group, a professional. Take your pick. But you need an outlet for all that agony.

Packing all that hurt into your broken heart will simply leave you more broken. Watching a loved one suffer or losing one is hard. Don’t go it alone.

Published by

AnneMoss Rogers

AnneMoss Rogers is a mental health and suicide education expert, mental health speaker, suicide prevention trainer and consultant. She is author of the Book, Diary of a Broken Mind and co-author of Emotionally Naked: A Teacher's Guide to Preventing Suicide and Recognizing Students at Risk with Kim O'Brien PhD, LICSW. She raised two boys, Richard and Charles, and lost her younger son, Charles to addiction and suicide on June 5, 2015. She is a motivational speaker who empowers by educating and provides life saving strategies and emotionally healthy coping skills. As talented and funny as Charles was, letting other people know they matter was his greatest gift. And now that's the legacy she carries forward in her son's memory. Mental Health Speakers Website.

6 thoughts on “Those who clam up have the hardest time”

  1. When we share with others who understand our shame and stigma the pain for some reason is dissipated. ..dont isolate, reach out and know we all understand where you have been and are…we can sll gelp with where we will be!

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