When I was losing it and started to make myself crazy by projecting all kinds of scenarios that had not happened, I would pull out my phone and read my mantras out loud to myself. I picked these up from others and from the literature in Families Anonymous meetings over the years.
1. Enabling, rescuing or weaving a safety net blocks recovery
Figuring out what “enabling” is can be complicated. So whatever we had defined it at that time is what I went with. It was simply important not to default to rescue mode.
I want you to know that even though you are struggling, maybe even using, you are loved. That last time you relapsed, you think you saw disappointment on our faces.
But that’s not what that emotion was. It was not disappointment.
It was worry. Morbid fear. And helplessness.
We want to understand relapses are part of the disease and part of recovery. That’s so easy to say and we try. Emotionally we are crushed because we are afraid you are going to die. That fear never leaves us at any point. We watch friends of yours die. … Read more...