Category: Suicide

What stories am I looking for?

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1. Stories from people of color

I see that suicide and addiction affects all races. Whether you are African American, Indian or Latino or something else, I’d like to hear how stigma is in your cultural community.

2. Stories from the LGBTQ community

Suicide rates are high in this community and I’d like those who identify as LGTBQ to contribute

3. Speaking opportunities to diverse places of worship

Always looking for opportunities at places of worship and I have one coming up soon. But I feel our outreach is lacking in certain cultural communities.

4. Stories from veterans

It’s a … Read more...

Our culture is sick

We are seeing unprecedented numbers of youth suicides, overdoses are at epidemic levels. There is more depression and anxiety than ever before especially among adolescents and so many school shootings that we haven’t even finished grieving the last when the next one happens.

More than anything we need to understand that the increase in mental illness and addiction is not the result of a generation being “weak” or “lazy.” There is a root cause and that’s where we need to focus.

There is more polarization, less tolerance, and more loneliness

We are all so busy we don’t even take time … Read more...

Presenting at pediatric mental health conference on the ASQ

Dr. Lisa Horowitz, NIMH

It’s always such an honor to co-present with Dr. Lisa Horowitz, one of the architects of the ASQ suicide screening tool. As a follow up to that conference, I’m posting some of the links here to make it easy for participants to find the tools they need to implement this life-saving tool.

I hope members of my tribe here on Emotionally Naked will promote this tool and suggest it to your doctor. Dr. Abernathy has been using this tool for about three years now. You can see Dr. Horowitz’ Abernathy data here. 

ASQ Toolkit for implementation
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This is what middle school is really like

by a middle schooler

This totally fake middle school picture of happy children is brought to you by your imagination

Note from Anne Moss: When I spoke at the Shady Grove YMCA, there were mostly parents, but a few teens there and one of them talked to me after about the culture at her middle school. Quite different than most of us think although having been in schools and in the Y with teens, this came as no surprise to me. This isn’t just one school. This is common and indicates our culture has a problem. After we talked, the … Read more...

YMCA Presentation Follow up

So honored so many showed up in the rain to learn more about youth mental health. A really great turn out and even better questions.

If you feel your child’s behavior is not the normal teen struggles, it might be time to ask his teachers and get their opinion. They see lots of adolescents in a day and often have good perspective. That’s actually how I found out that Charles might be suffering from depression. Your gut also will tell you things are not normal. Start with the school then move next to doing an evaluation.

… Read more...

The aftershocks of my son’s attempted suicide

by Susan

I never realized how much trauma I would feel after my son’s suicide attempt.

Thankfully, his attempt failed, but I still feel aftershocks more than a year later. I guess I thought that I/our family would move in a mostly linear line from a terribly painful chapter in our lives to a more peaceful chapter.

We’ve made changes: a new school, a new living situation, and regular support from his therapist. But healing isn’t linear.

Sometimes the aftershocks are mild – a tone in his voice, a dark moodiness, or his head buried in his phone with his … Read more...

Familiar and new faces in Huntsville, AL at Wellstone Fundraiser!

Denise K and Anne Moss Rogers

I have known Denise since the days I did digital marketing for Diamonds by Lauren of NY. Denise handled customer service. I posted I would be in Huntsville, AL and Denise lives near there and came to meet me and hear me speak. It was so exciting meeting her in person. And I had noticed an uptick of Alabama visitors and I’m sure it has to do with Denise!

So she called the marketing director, Kallie, about tickets and the fact that Denise has an English accent threw her off as it does a … Read more...

The tree before and after

There is a tree near the Nickel Bridge and Byrd Park in Richmond. After a storm in June of 2016, it looked ragged, and broken. All the trees around it had leaves and branches.

This one looked singed by lightning– alone and naked. Among it’s grove mates, it had been devastated. It had a few branches but they were stripped of foliage and it had a curious formation at the top. A heart. I could not even imagine how lightning could carve a sculpture like that out of the top of a tree.

It looked dead. In fact, I thought … Read more...

Sex and intimacy after loss of a child

One of these is from a mom whose child has suffered previous suicide attempts and it still alive. Having a child struggle is also a damper to one’s sex life. Unfortunately, no dudes responded so it’s only moms for this one. This is as honest and emotionally naked as it gets. (A dude did respond and wrote this.)

Finding the energy to whip up passion after loss is a challenge. Thank you to the tribe for your submissions on the subject. Due to the intensely personal nature of this post, identifying information has been removed.

From a mom
… Read more...

#BeHereTomorrow Movie Screening with Ginger and Rogers

Ginger Germani lost her son Austin Germani a year ago. Last week she did a Facebook birthday fundraiser and raised 2,555 (+ a check for $25) in support of Beacon Tree Foundation in memory of Austin. Her goal was $1,998 for the year he was born. One of her friends had arranged a Ride to Fight Suicide in Staunton, VA.

Ginger invited me to a screening of the movie, “Suicide, The Ripple Effect” by Kevin Hines in Charlottesville, VA and to say a few words about Beacon Tree. It’s about an hour away from Richmond.

The marquee right … Read more...

Living with unanswered questions

A death by suicide leaves so few answers. I imagine a lot of deaths do that.  Murder and abduction that ends in death come to mind.

The one big question with suicide is, “why?”

I probably have more answers than most, due to all the writing and notebooks Charles had. The few I have are very revealing. And over the years I’ve been able to piece together scenarios that offer more clues. Stories others have told such as realizing that Charles started suffering from depression in middle school. It was at this time he was having thoughts of suicide from … Read more...

I did not do everything right. Or everything wrong

When I start to torture myself about everything I missed or did wrong as it relates to Charles’ addiction, mental illness, and ultimate suicide, I have to think about all the things we did right.

After a suicide, it’s hard to have that perspective because you are looking for reasons for someone taking the drastic step of ending their life. You default to self blame.  No, that’s wrong. You torture yourself with self blame.

We forget about the times we read to our children, carted them to and from activities and sports, the bonfires and s’mores, the parties, trips to … Read more...

I wish Charles had been arrested

When we got the call from the police, I was hopeful Charles had been arrested. Elated really. It wanted it ever since he had walked out of that drug detox facility. If he was arrested, it would mean he was safe.

Those with substance use disorder often have behaviors that land them in jail—for crimes they committed to feed their addictions and keep unbearable withdrawal at bay.

After that call from the police, I had that moment of elation for a few seconds before my thinking brain kicked and and introduced logic.

I realized the police wouldn’t drop in and … Read more...

Songs on the radio that inspire instant tears

When I hear this song, See You Again, I lose it. It was used on this video that Adam Bloom, my friend Martha’s son, created for the memorial service get together after.

Another one Lost Boy, a song about Peter Pan whom I referenced in Charles’ obituary— “Charles Rogers was Peter Pan. He was just never meant to grow up.”

I remember when I was a teenager and I’d break up with a boyfriend. Every single song on the radio seared my heart. It was as if the radio was there to remind me of my … Read more...

Leading change for a taboo topic

I have been advocating for mental health, specifically youth mental health, since 2010. While my son Charles was still alive, not yet diagnosed with depression and I didn’t know he was suffering from thoughts of suicide, the system was so frustrating, I joined the board for Beacon Tree Foundation to see if I could advocate for change. That was the first time I met people who felt just as frustrated as I was.

I tried back then to get speaking engagements but no one wanted to talk about mental illness or drugs and engagements were few and far between. I … Read more...