Learning to let go of regret after suicide

by Jon Farrow

Sometimes it’s a feeling in the middle of the day. Sometimes it’s passing a restaurant we used to frequent or a song that comes on right as I’m about to reach a destination. Other times it’s a memory-inducing warm breeze on a mild summer day. No matter what brings him to mind, even after five years, I still feel the twinge in my heart.

Searching for an escape has been a race that I can’t win

No matter what I do, the feeling overwhelms me like the shadow caused by a setting sun, one that extinguishes the … Read more...

I did not do everything right. Or everything wrong

When I start to torture myself about everything I missed or did wrong as it relates to Charles’ addiction, mental illness, and ultimate suicide, I have to think about all the things we did right.

After a suicide, it’s hard to have that perspective because you are looking for reasons for someone taking the drastic step of ending their life. You default to self blame.  No, that’s wrong. You torture yourself with self blame.

We forget about the times we read to our children, carted them to and from activities and sports, the bonfires and s’mores, the parties, trips to … Read more...