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Tag: coulda woulda shoulda after a suicide

Are the ‘what ifs’ and ‘coulda woulda shouldas’ stalking you?

Does your brain gets stuck in self-blame mode?

Do the what-ifs and coulda wouldas shouldas stalk you? I have some strategies that won’t magically make the pain vanish but they will lessen your suffering and help you find some peace.

Some examples of ‘what ifs’

Since I lost my son to suicide, my issue was going down that rabbit hole of coulda woulda shouldas which sounded like this–

“Why didn’t I answer the phone that one last time?”

“What if I had gone and picked him up when his voice expressed obvious despair?”

“Why didn’t I call him every … Read more...

Learning to let go of regret after suicide

by Jon Farrow

Sometimes it’s a feeling in the middle of the day. Sometimes it’s passing a restaurant we used to frequent or a song that comes on right as I’m about to reach a destination. Other times it’s a memory-inducing warm breeze on a mild summer day. No matter what brings him to mind, even after five years, I still feel the twinge in my heart.

Searching for an escape has been a race that I can’t win

No matter what I do, the feeling overwhelms me like the shadow caused by a setting sun, one that extinguishes the … Read more...