When I start to torture myself about everything I missed or did wrong as it relates to Charles’ addiction, mental illness, and ultimate suicide, I have to think about all the things we did right.
After a suicide, it’s hard to have that perspective because you are looking for reasons for someone taking the drastic step of ending their life. You default to self blame. No, that’s wrong. You torture yourself with self blame.
We forget about the times we read to our children, carted them to and from activities and sports, the bonfires and s’mores, the parties, trips to theme parks, get togethers with families, and friends spending the night.
All the time we invested and unconditional love we gave. It simply was not enough to fix what was wrong. Because even when we do everything right, it can still go all wrong.