A Husband’s View: Sex and intimacy after loss of a child

by Gary

Males are different psychologically and emotionally. My wife and I lost our 17-year-old son after he died by suicide on Nov. 7, 2019. The grief is overwhelming, strangling, choking, at times.

I’ll not attempt to convey the grief. One understands, or one does not.

The intimacy of coitus with my wife is the deepest of (the many of) my connections with her, encompassing my love, my emotional and psychological attachment, reaffirmation, on every possible plane you could imagine.

Males are always subconsciously tense, on guard. The old stereotype complaint, his falling asleep after making love? Criticized, some women … Read more...

Sex and intimacy after loss of a child

One of these is from a mom whose child has suffered previous suicide attempts and it still alive. Having a child struggle is also a damper to one’s sex life. Unfortunately, no dudes responded so it’s only moms for this one. This is as honest and emotionally naked as it gets. (A dude did respond and wrote this.)

Finding the energy to whip up passion after loss is a challenge. Thank you to the tribe for your submissions on the subject. Due to the intensely personal nature of this post, identifying information has been removed.

From a mom

Need some help from parents who’ve lost a child

I’d like to do a post on a VERY emotionally naked subject–intimacy and sex after death of a child.

All will be completely anonymous

This discussion is a pretty hot topic.

I have two ways you can share with me. And I really need your input because others really want to understand what happens and I am sure it’s different with different couples.

Losing a child often changes what happens in the bedroom. How long did it take to rekindle intimacy? Did you as a couple differ? How long ago did you lose your child and how? Was intimacy stressful … Read more...