Category: Suicide

One person reaching out saved me

by Paul Buskey

I recently attended my thirtieth high school reunion. Still hard to believe.

I saw classmates I hadn’t seen since graduation. I failed to realize how much some people still meant to me after all these years. I’m sorry it’s taken this long to realize that.

Reconnecting with those who were good friends and getting to know others for the first time besides a casual hello was outstanding and I truly had a great time.

On several occasions, the question was asked why I expose myself and write about my mental health. My answer was to let people … Read more...

Dear Charles, it’s me again

Sending you a picture of all of us to you Charles

Your videos have saved lives. So have your lyrics. I know that’s what you wanted. You wanted to touch the souls of others and you have.

I’ve been pouring over your words while I edit this book. Some days I ball my eyes out while I write but that’s OK because it’s my connection to you. Those lyrics are such a gift. Thank you for that.

I’m sorry your lyrics did not save you but people have reached out and told me how talented and special you were.… Read more...

How could Bourdain and Spade leave their children?

When I first heard Charles died by suicide, I took it personally. I could not figure out how he could leave us like that. Wouldn’t he know we’d be devastated? Didn’t he remember how awful he felt when Cal died by suicide?

But it was not about me. It was not personal. And it took me a long time to realize that.

You’re wondering how could a parent, in this case Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, not realize what their death by suicide might do to their child? The truth is, they just couldn’t because that moment of … Read more...

Emotionally Naked T-shirts

White, ice blue, gray. unisex and Women’s slim fit (shaped and runs small).

Sizes Unisex: XS-3XL, Women’s Slim Fit: S-2XL

Emotionally Naked t-shirts

EmotionallyNaked.com is website and blog focused on talking about suicide and all the underlying causes such as mental illness and addiction.  All taboo subjects.

I do so in memory of my youngest son Charles Aubrey Rogers who died by suicide June 5, 2015 in Richmond, Virginia. He suffered from depression and addiction.
I strive to find hope and joy in the face of the most devastating loss of my life.  I share my journey and the
… Read more...

How a school should handle a death by suicide

Too often, I hear stories about a school telling the student body “not to talk about it” which is the worst possible thing to say following a death of a student (or a teacher) by suicide. Not to mention, it’s not at all how a school should handle news of a suicide.

Suicide is a cause of death–a public health issue

Suicide is most often the result of mental illness which is a documented brain disease.

The kids know how someone died. And by trying to keep the cause under wraps, a school is further stigmatizing suicide and cheating the … Read more...

You don’t want to imagine

No one wants to truly imagine what it’s like to lose a child to suicide. Or lose a child at all.

I remember there was a moment when Charles was alive when I wondered what my life would be like without him. I just could not imagine. But I was trying because I was worried that he might die.

Can you prepare yourself for that?

The answer is no.

I don’t want you to imagine if you’ve not been through this. I’m going to bet the other parents who have suffered this loss don’t want you too, either. There’s no … Read more...

I lost my father, David Lawrence Sanders, to suicide

by Amy Schmidt

In memory of David Lawrence Sanders December 13, 1949 – February 11, 1981

It was February 11, 1981. That was the day my whole universe changed. I was 7 years old and I remember walking into the kitchen, seeing my mom holding the phone in her hand. Tears were streaming down her pale face, with what I now recognize as a look of shock and grief. I tried asking her what was wrong, but she quietly shook her head and shooed me out of the room.

Author Amy Schmidt

My next memory is her sitting my 3-year-old … Read more...

On Anthony Bourdain’s Suicide

Anthony Bourdain dies by suicide at 61

Creative. Innovative. Good looking. Rich. Successful.

And died by suicide.

He had so much money. So much fame. He wanted for nothing.

But a brain that suffers from depression doesn’t care about fame or money.

I rarely watched the show but I’m watching it now. And I’ve noticed he is emotionally naked and shows us parts unknown through the lens of food. It was a conduit.

He saw food as emotional.

He was passionate, empathetic, authentic and vulnerable. He called himself a lucky cook who tells stories.

He suffered from addiction to heroin back … Read more...

Delivered our first Preventure manuals!

It was exciting to deliver the first Preventure manuals for our pilot starting in the fall. We hear about the NIH grant in June 2018. One of the recommendations from the CDC was to teach coping and problem solving skills and promote social connectedness, two things this program does.

The reason they cited problem-solving skills was that while treating mental illness is key to prevention, about half were not diagnosed with a mental illness and other life stressors were contributing factors of a suicide. e.g. relationship problems, physical health problems, substance use disorder, legal problems.

While the evidence-based Preventure program … Read more...

Why don’t those thinking of suicide ask for help?

Larger visual below

A friend of mine reached out recently. She was feeling dark and depressed and she had had thoughts of suicide although when she called me she was not in imminent danger. She simply admitted she had had those thoughts 0ver the past few days.

We had a conversation about what had changed recently and we cited some possible ways to address the sudden change. Both of us suspected it might have something to do with a recent medicine increase that was making anxiety and depression worse, not better. Before I got off the phone, we decided together … Read more...

What do Charles and Kate Spade have in common?

I wake up the morning of June 5, not sure whether to dread the day or enjoy it. I didn’t get up fast. I took my time. While eating breakfast, I read that Kate Spade has died by suicide. It was so surreal.

Charles and Kate Spade not only share cause of death, they share a suicide death anniversary date, June 5. Like Charles, I believe Kate Spade also suffered from depression.

They also died by the same method. And both were creative geniuses.

Charles would not have had any idea who she was. He was not into women’s handbags, … Read more...

TV 8 interview with Sara McCloskey

If you or someone you know is thinking of suicide, please reach out for help. Call 1-800-273-8255 or the crisis text line 741-741. Richmond VA and Virginia resources. You are better off contacting local resources whenever possible.

Sara McClosky conducts an interview in the wake of the Kate Spade suicide. Charles shares a death by suicide anniversary date of June 5.

Thank you Sara and Channel 8 for shedding light on a difficult subject. CDC to present new data on suicide from 1999-2016 which indicates a thirty percent increase for states in more than half the country.

Notice … Read more...

Year three since Charles died by suicide

So what was year three like compared to the previous ones? I will say that the loss has softened some. The edges of my grief are not as jagged and it’s more of a dull ache.

Cries are most often softer compared to the violent break downs, screaming at windows and fist pounding that characterized my initial grief. The ugly, raw, new grief. Now it just sort of settles over me like a lazy dark cloud.

When I think back, it’s hard to believe I had the wherewithal to plan a funeral (with help), write an obituary, pack up … Read more...

How can faith leaders help with the addiction and suicide crisis?

Bulletin today from the republican leaders who invited faith leaders to learn more about community issues.

A panel discussion today with faith leaders and republican leaders got me to thinking how this group could help make a dent in this crisis. No matter what your political leaning, this is a nonpartisan issue and will take an effort from all sides.

As community leaders to whom others confide their darkest secrets, I believe faith leaders have the opportunity to tackle a key aspect of this puzzle and I’d like to discuss what I’d like to see from faith leaders.

Modeling behavior

… Read more...

Life is not a sugar-coated fairy tale

At some point, you will have adversity in your life. Death, divorce, illness, tragedy, natural disaster, accidents, loss of a job or something.

How will you cope? What are unhealthy coping strategies? What are healthy coping strategies?

We all self-medicate at some point. If not with drugs or alcohol, with ice cream and snack foods, gambling, sex, self-harm, or shopping sprees. The trouble with temporary numbing strategies or thrill-seeking approaches to feel good is that we don’t solve anything. We just delay the solution or the healing process. And in so doing, we gain weight, develop problems with drugs or … Read more...