Dear Charles, it’s me again

Sending you a picture of all of us to you Charles

Your videos have saved lives. So have your lyrics. I know that’s what you wanted. You wanted to touch the souls of others and you have.

I’ve been pouring over your words while I edit this book. Some days I ball my eyes out while I write but that’s OK because it’s my connection to you. Those lyrics are such a gift. Thank you for that.

I’m sorry your lyrics did not save you but people have reached out and told me how talented and special you were.

Were. I hate that I have to use past tense.

It’s summer here and Richard just visited. You loved summer so much. Remember that?

We walked down to the river and I thought again how much you would have loved this new house because it’s so close. You’d be down there all the time if you were here. And I’d worry, too, because you sucked as a swimmer. Yeah, I’m going to make fun of your dog paddle even now.

I miss you so much. How many times can a mom say that? Our family pictures now have three. It still feels weird. You took up a lot of space. You were larger than life.

So can you do something?  To let me know you are there? Kinda crazy I know. But I need a sign. Don’t tell me there is no such thing. Something off the wall–Charles style.

Do write back. Send a sign back. Invade my dreams. Something.

Love, Mom

Published by

AnneMoss Rogers

AnneMoss Rogers is a mental health and suicide education expert, mental health speaker, suicide prevention trainer and consultant. She is author of the Book, Diary of a Broken Mind and co-author of Emotionally Naked: A Teacher's Guide to Preventing Suicide and Recognizing Students at Risk with Kim O'Brien PhD, LICSW. She raised two boys, Richard and Charles, and lost her younger son, Charles to addiction and suicide on June 5, 2015. She is a motivational speaker who empowers by educating and provides life saving strategies and emotionally healthy coping skills. As talented and funny as Charles was, letting other people know they matter was his greatest gift. And now that's the legacy she carries forward in her son's memory. Mental Health Speakers Website.

6 thoughts on “Dear Charles, it’s me again”

  1. Another beautiful post; you writing my thoughts. I hate past tense too. I still cringe when I have to use it. I too desperately need an in-your-face kinda sign tomorrow on my birthday. I hope you get yours. Hugs always.

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