Island heart – #griefheart number 172

This one sent to me by Pixie. If you look closely at the trees, you’ll see the heart in there. Tucked away in the trees. Isolated and lost. A suicide loss often leaves you feeling that way. If you let it take you down, it will. If you suffer in silence, it will smother you.

We can honor our loved ones that died by suicide and their struggles. We can talk about them and remember them. Even after the greatest loss of my life, my son’s suicide, I do believe those who are suffering can find hope and healing. Mental … Read more...

Bandaged heart – #griefheart number 171

I saw this at CVS today and it made me think of how my heart is bandaged together, how some days I am just holding it together since Charles’ suicide.

On this particular trip to the drugstore, I see a young African American man holding a baby girl about 6 weeks old. She is scrunched up and cuddled on her daddy’s chest sleeping while he is picking up a couple of items.

While I am standing in line, I can see him outside the window as he puts his bag in the car and takes a selfie of the baby … Read more...

Pickled heart – #griefheart number 170

This one sent to me by Alex and it immediately sparked a memory.

Charles would always ask them at any fast food place to “hold the pickle.” His favorite was the Chick-fil-A sandwich with no pickle. And he’d open it and check his sandwich to see if they followed his directions. He was pickle prejudiced.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by#griefheart category.

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Grief: Going all ‘hallmark’ on you

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RIP heart – #griefheart number 169

rip-heart

This heart is made with some small shells and has RIP written inside. Someone else lost a loved one and memorialized them with this temporary heart on the beach. But since Esther took a picture and sent it to me, it’s now a forever #griefheart.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by#griefheart category.

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Grief. Is there a heaven?

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Falling heart – #griefheart number 168

I was walking the dog today and saw the leaves turning and it made me think about the fact that I am witnessing another season change which makes me feel just a little farther from my child that died by suicide.

The world keeps turning, lives keep moving forward but his has stopped and that concept is so hard to accept sometimes.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by#griefheart category.

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Video: Forgive me momma

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Potato heart – #griefheart number 167

Randy makes these hash brown potatoes. The boys have always loved them. Charles loved these. And french fries that Randy would make.

I smelled them the other night cooking and it brought back that memory. Charles often cooked late at night because he slept so poorly. And because that’s when he got hungry. He would warm these up in the toaster oven. If I got up to go to the bathroom I would smell them being reheated.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog … Read more...

Taco Bell heart – #griefheart number 166

Charles favorite restaurant was Taco Bell. And his job there was the only real one he ever had. Customers loved him and it made him feel good. He would often hand out his CDs there, too. Not sure if management knew that one. But young customers would come back and tell him they loved his music.

Charles always told me Mexican food made him ill. When I pointed out that Taco Bell was a Mexican restaurant he’d tell me it was not. Nothing there made him ill apparently. Since Charles’ suicide, I still can’t drive past at Taco Bell without … Read more...

Love you this much – #griefheart number 165

Love you this much
Love you this much

This incredible work of art is by me, a non-illustrator.  If I could have stretched the arms to the edges of the universe, I would have. This is how much I still love my child. Until he died by suicide, I had no idea how much you could love someone that was no longer alive.

But that’s what grief is. The price you pay for having loved someone with all your heart.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by… Read more...

Candy heart – #griefheart number 164

Everybody who knew Charles knew how much he loved candy! When he went to a friends house, first place he went was their candy stash. Walmart had the best prices on candy according to Charles and he’d go here before going to the movies.

I remember going places and waiting forever for him to make his mind up and make his candy selection! I didn’t buy him candy. He had to buy it with his own money. Somehow I thought it would slow him down.

Sweet memories of my son that died by suicide. I wish my sweetheart was still … Read more...

John Terrell’s heart – #griefheart 164

John Terrell's Heart
John Terrell’s Heart

“My job as an artist is to express feeling within a pattern, large or small.” —John Terrell

This #griefheart is original art by John Terrell who suffered from bipolar disorder and died by suicide. It was shared by his family for this project to honor his memory and his art.

A “Retrospective of John’s Art” will be at Artspace Gallery in Richmond, October 28 – November 20, 2016. Proceeds will go to NAMI, Full Circle Counseling Services, and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention for whom his father Buddy is hosting the International Suicide Survival Day event.

What

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Half hearted– #griefheart number 163

half-hearted
Half hearted

Some days my efforts for getting up and dressed are half hearted. I do it anyway because lying about in bed won’t make me feel better.  There are times you have to fake it before you make it. Losing a child to suicide is so devastating, many days you can’t believe it happened.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by #griefheart category.

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Cute as a button heart – #griefheart number 162

charles-richardCharles was so cute. Everyone thinks that about their child. Charles is on the right. Charming, effervescent and full of bubble and fun. We never went anywhere his life that the whole room did not react to him like moths to a flame.

He had “it” and now he’s gone, a tragic suicide as the result of depression and addiction. And you know the worst part? He was ashamed of his illnesses. I think part of that is why he killed himself. It’s time we stop shaming people. Who’s in?

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project… Read more...

Thank you heart – #griefheart number 162

Thank you heart
Thank you heart

This thank you #griefheart is for all of you that have supported me in my grief following Charles’ suicide.  I believe that you have to have a support network to be able to move forward and thankfully I’ve had that.

It’s my hope that this project has raised awareness of those grieving the loss of a child or a loved one by suicide. And that all those families get support for their loss.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by #griefheart category… Read more...

Infinity heart – #griefheart number 161

Infinity heart
Infinity heart

An infinity heart is an “I love you forever heart.” I love Charles forever and ever even though he’s not here any longer.

This is actually a tattoo on the arm of my friend Beka Lombardo who suffers from bipolar disorder. Part of her recovery is giving back and being outspoken on the subject. This is what she has to say about her new arm artwork.

“The idea behind this tattoo is that if I ever got to where I felt like I wanted to cut or have suicidal ideations, I just look down and see Joe’s name and I know that … Read more...

Key to my heart – #griefheart number 160

Charles will always have the key to my heart. And thanks to this artful gift from Allie, I can carry that heart with me. Even better, I am less likely to be digging for my keys in my handbag.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by #griefheart category.

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What I miss most about Charles

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