These are the #griefheart pictures representing my grief journey
This is how my grief feels sometimes. Pretty self explanatory.
I no longer wonder how long it will go on or when it will stop. It just is and I go with the flow. I wake up each morning and reflect on what I am thankful for. If I thought about all that was wrong, I likely wouldn’t get out of bed.
I explain my #griefheart project here.
See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by #griefheart category.
“You’re my mom, the only one I’ll ever have, I’m sorry I was bad, all the tears I could sit in a bath” –From “Forgive Me Momma” by Charles Aubrey Rogers
In the last 14 months, I’ve cried enough tears to make a bath. Tears for my child Charles who died by suicide. Those words were meant to illustrate his pain but they ironically ended up describing mine.
I explain my #griefheart project here.
See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by #griefheart category.
The grief journey is all about learning to move forward by carrying the memory of your loved one in your heart. I want Charles here with me, of course. I will always want that.
I love this picture of him in elementary school with his bowl cut. A sweet memory of him before his brain told him he was worthless and he took his own life.
I explain my #griefheart project here.
See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by#griefheart category.
My friend Bonnie’s daughter got a new pooch. She realized after this picture was taken that she had captured a heart on the dog’s rump. And she sent it to me to be part of the #griefheart project. My late son Charles loved, loved dogs. They loved him.
I asked her the new dog’s name. It’s Charlie. Now that’s ironic.
I explain my #griefheart project here.
See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by#griefheart category.
This one was staring at me from Monument Avenue in Richmond, VA. Charles never wanted to live anywhere else. He loved Richmond. He loved the graffiti, the statues, the cobblestones, the river. Whatever his goals were as a famous rapper, he wanted this city to stay his home.
I explain my #griefheart project here.
See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by#griefheart category.
My friend Laurie sent me this as a “thinking about you” #griefheart. She and I are part of that club no one wants to be in. She and her husband Scott lost their son Dawson to an overdose in 2014 and I am dedicating this one to his memory.
For 4 1/2 years, we went to Families Anonymous and after every meeting, the group says this prayer.
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
Keep coming back. It works … Read more...
Charles loved his dog. He wanted one forever. He begged in middle school and I felt so guilty for saying no. I knew a dog would require my time no matter what my kids said about “doing everything.”
On his 15th birthday, we finally got Charles a dog. The world rejoiced! We got Andy from my friend Diane’s daughter who had to move to a new apartment that didn’t allow dogs. It was love at first sight.
Andy is still with us. I never thought the dog would outlive our son.
I explain my #griefheart … Read more...
Charles was a dreamer. Hardly a practical or realistic bone in his body. It was his complete lack of any practical sense whatsoever that always worried me but also charmed and entertained me, too.
I often wonder if the world just didn’t live up to his expectations.
I explain my #griefheart project here.
See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by #griefheart category.… Read more...
Jenny sent this to me. She said when she saw it, she thought of this project. I never saw hearts everywhere until I started this project. In fact, I confess that I kind of hated them. I thought they were corny. And now I have a project featuring hearts. 180 degree turn around. And it’s contagious because now all of you are seeing them.
Pie seems so appropriate today because we had a cookout with family and pie always reminds me of family gatherings. We missed you Charles but we carried you in our hearts.
Charles wrote his raps in a composition book, the kind he used to use since kindergarten. This heart is made out of the cover. He used some spiral notebooks, too. About 15+ are missing. Could be as many as 25 or 30. He was a prolific writer.
My heart is with them and I wish I could get them back, especially the one he loaned out in rehab and never got back. He had had that one with him since the Family School days in Hancock NY. I have to hope his words are out there helping someone else now. … Read more...
This griefheart is in honor of Mark Thomas Skellett, 21, who died by suicide just 14 days after his birthday in Richmond, Virginia.
From Denise Fiato, his mother
“Mark gave to everyone no matter what. He had a love of books and animals. My friends enjoyed talking with him because he spoke eloquently, and could talk about any subject.
HIs love for animals had gone too far when he came home with 2 pet rats. EEEEKKKKK
He was a very kind soul who thrived on helping others no matter their situation. He was well liked and had many many friends. … Read more...
Charles suffered from anxiety but never on stage. He was as comfortable and natural on the stage as any seasoned actor. Charles had the innate gift of timing. You can’t teach that. He always had the audience’s attention. And no one I have ever seen could capture a crowd like he could.
It’s so painful to know the gifts he took with him when he died. He was truly a creative genius that was only getting started. I always told him he had “it.” And what really hurts sometimes is not knowing what he could have become.
But maybe there … Read more...
This #griefheart is in honor of Joshua Hasnas who died by suicide in 2008.
From Joshua’s mother, Rachelle Hasnas: Bipolar Disorder isn’t “pretty.” To Fly Again- Portrait of a BIPOLAR Life, a memoir I wrote for my son Joshua, isn’t pretty either. What you get is what bipolar disorder “looks like,” no punches pulled. And you also get the beautiful, sensitive soul—seen through his poetry—that was my son, taken too soon by the devastation this brain disease can bring. He lived with mental illness for some 22 years, until his suicide at the age of 38.
The symbol of the … Read more...
Talk20 in Richmond VA invited me to speak on the topic of losing my son Charles Rogers, 20, to suicide in June of 2015 and how it inspired the #griefheart project. This a conversational style event so it’s not a formal presentation. The Coalition Theatre was a challenging place to have video taken so there may be some times where sound or steadiness are an issue.
Despite the venue challenges, I think Mark at BES did a great job and I wanted to reach out and thank them for this video.
Need to book Anne Moss as a speaker, … Read more...
A friend of mine, Charlotte, dropped this vase and look what it made. She, too, lost a child to suicide. Message in a vase?
Suicide shatters your life. You do pick up the pieces as best you can and move forward. But your heart is never the same and you have to figure out how to live with that hurt and still find joy.
I explain my #griefheart project here.
See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by#griefheart category.
… Read more...