Arrow through the heart – #griefheart number 116

Arrow through the heart
Arrow through the heart

This is how my grief feels sometimes. Pretty self explanatory.

I no longer wonder how long it will go on or when it will stop. It just is and I go with the flow. I wake up each morning and reflect on what I am thankful for. If I thought about all that was wrong, I likely wouldn’t get out of bed.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by #griefheart category.

Get updates to this project by subscribing

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Broken heart – #griefheart number 103

perfect-pitch-heart

A friend of mine, Charlotte, dropped this vase and look what it made. She, too, lost a child to suicide. Message in a vase?

Suicide shatters your life. You do pick up the pieces as best you can and move forward. But your heart is never the same and you have to figure out how to live with that hurt and still find joy.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by#griefheart category.

Get updates to this project by subscribing

Forgiving myself

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My heart will rebound – #griefheart 76

rubberband-heart

“I once held love in my hands, but she ran, and the pain snapped back like rubber bands.” –Verse for the Lonely, by Charles Aubrey Rogers

The truth is you can’t grieve if you’ve never loved. And I will never regret having had Charles or the love I shared with my son.

My heart will rebound although it will always feel the pain of the loss.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by#griefheart category.

Get updates to this project 

Read more...

My birthday heart – #griefheart 69

Today is my birthday. Richard came home but of course Charles is only here in spirit. Miss my boy who died by suicide a lot today.

Thank you for all the notes, texts and calls. I was so happy to see my friend who is incarcerated today. When he walked in the pod I burst into tears because it was such an emotional day. Randy made this heart for my birthday. For those of you that know him, doing this is a big deal.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so … Read more...

Hold onto hope

hold-hopeFrom a young lady, 26, a suicide survivor who attended my recent presentation at Coalition Theater Talk20 in Richmond, Virginia on the #griefheart project.

She came home and posted this on her Facebook page. Made me cry. So very brave.  And I can’t help but cry again as I post it. This is the generation that will inspire change in mental illness, addiction and suicide. I hope it touches you as much as it did me. 

“Just left a very powerful ‪#‎Talk20‬ at the Coalition Theater. I was most inspired by Anne Moss’ bravery to share her very personal … Read more...

Martin Heart- #griefheart number 60

Just 3 weeks after Charles died by suicide, there was a family less than a mile away that also died by suicide. The same way. Death by hanging. His name was Drew Martin and at that time, I didn’t know his mom, Pat. But I know her now. We don’t think it was a copy cat incident for a number of reasons. Just a horrible coincidence.  

From Pat Martin:

“I saw this carved in the sidewalk while walking around Lake Michigan. Not only did the initials stop me in my tracks because they were Drew’s, but the handwriting is so … Read more...

Yellow Diamond Heart- #griefheart number 58

This #griefheart is one in a pair of earrings I bought while working for an awesome dealer/friend in NY.

I was desperately trying to sell them years later to help pay for the support services we needed for Charles before he died by suicide. Treating mental illness and addiction is not cheap and we had gone through $260k in our efforts to help him.

At some point, your money runs out as it did in our case. I had sold so many things. But these did not sell fast enough. I didn’t want to look desperate even though I … Read more...

Cuddle Heart – #griefheart number 54

This was sent to me by another mom, Angel, who lost her daughter to suicide. Their kittens had a litter and three of them were napping and she snapped a picture saying it reminded her of my #griefheart project.

It reminded me what a great cuddler Charles was. More than Richard, Charles needed hugs and reassurance. He always needed more love and compassion than my independent older child (whom I adore, of course). No one gave a better hug than Charles.

Even as a toddler his hug just made me cry it was so full of feeling. I wonder … Read more...