For those who’ve lost a pregnancy, child, or a mom, Mother’s Day is a painful reminder of who is no longer here. Even moms-to-be who’ve been trying to get pregnant, the day is like a hot knife to the heart, a cruel reminder of what has not happened.
It’s been five years since I lost my son Charles to suicide and he always remembered mother’s day and the text above is one of the most treasured. When I got it my heart went soft and my jaw went slack. I knew it was a message I’d keep forever.
by Karla Helbert, LPC
Picture caption: Mother to a daughter. And a baby son lost to a brain tumor.
I wish people knew that this day, now over-commercialized, over-sentimentalized, overblown and over-filled with spending, obligation, and long waits at any brunch-worthy restaurant, was first created by and for bereaved mothers who shared it with all other mothers.
They started it not to elevate to superiority the mother and her role in family and society, or even to simply honor motherhood.
Did you know that the women who started Mother’s Day were actively working to help lower infant mortality rates? That … Read more...
I got my mother’s day hives last week. With the help of Benadryl, it’s cleared up. Weird I get all these rashes during grieving season. And then they go away after the June fifth death anniversary. Poof! They vanish.
That first year, Mother’s Day hit me like a ton of bricks. That title expresses exactly how I felt. I felt bitter and resentment and I was pissed at the world. “Go on, go celebrate all your living children,” I wanted to scream.
I wanted to be mad at someone but there was no one to be angry with. … Read more...
Since this is my first Mother’s Day since my son Charles’ suicide, it’s not the best. It’s one day, right?
Thinking about all the women who are grieving the loss of a mom, a child, a grandmother, a sister, an infant or lost pregnancy. And the ones who are struggling to conceive and are not yet moms–but ache to be.
I explain my #griefheart project here.
See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by #griefheart category.
Alter Ego: It’s Mother’s Day today. Your first
Me: Now that’s a new definition of the first Mother’s Day
Alter Ego: It’s the first since his suicide
Me: I just want to die
Alter Ego: Really?
Me: No, not really. I planned the birthday and death anniversary but there so many occasions. I just failed to plan for this one.
Alter Ego: What would you have done?
Me: Planned a surgery that lasted all day
Alter Ego: Well you don’t need surgery
Me: No. I just need the anesthesia
Alter Ego: It’s just one day
Me: I know, I know. … Read more...
