5 Ways to Deal with Mother’s Day Grief

For those who’ve lost a pregnancy, child, or a mom, Mother’s Day is a painful reminder of who is no longer here. Even moms-to-be who’ve been trying to get pregnant, the day is like a hot knife to the heart, a cruel reminder of what has not happened.

It’s been five years since I lost my son Charles to suicide and he always remembered mother’s day and the text above is one of the most treasured. When I got it my heart went soft and my jaw went slack. I knew it was a message I’d keep forever.

For those

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Mother’s Day is here. Again

by Karla Helbert, LPC

Picture caption: Mother to a daughter. And a baby son lost to a brain tumor.

I wish people knew that this day, now over-commercialized, over-sentimentalized, overblown and over-filled with spending, obligation, and long waits at any brunch-worthy restaurant, was first created by and for bereaved mothers who shared it with all other mothers.

They started it not to elevate to superiority the mother and her role in family and society, or even to simply honor motherhood.

Did you know that the women who started Mother’s Day were actively working to help lower infant mortality rates? That … Read more...

Free ebook. Coping Strategies for Grief and Loss

Coping Strategies for Grief and Loss
by Anne Moss Rogers, Karla Helbert LPC, and Charlotte Moyler

I’ve had a lot of requests for this ebook in the last couple of weeks and wanted to get it up here for those of you who are struggling.

Thank you to both Karla and Charlotte for being contributing authors and to Mehmet for the cover art.

Cover art is copyright protected and reprinted with permission for the #griefheart project by Mehmet Sahin Altug. Cool Colors in Cary Town is his store.

Click the purple button for the free download. Once you sign up, … Read more...

Happy f–ing mother’s day

I got my mother’s day hives last week. With the help of Benadryl, it’s cleared up. Weird I get all these rashes during grieving season. And then they go away after the June fifth death anniversary. Poof! They vanish.

That first year, Mother’s Day hit me like a ton of bricks. That title expresses exactly how I felt. I felt bitter and resentment and I was pissed at the world. “Go on, go celebrate all your living children,” I wanted to scream.

I wanted to be mad at someone but there was no one to be angry with. … Read more...

Deflated Heart – #griefheart number 28

Since this is my first Mother’s Day since my son Charles’ suicide, it’s not the best. It’s one day, right?

Thinking about all the women who are grieving the loss of a mom, a child, a grandmother, a sister, an infant or lost pregnancy. And the ones who are struggling to conceive and are not yet moms–but ache to be.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by #griefheart category.

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My alter ego talks me through my first Mother’s Day

Alter Ego:  It’s Mother’s Day today. Your first

Me: Now that’s a new definition of the first Mother’s Day

Alter Ego: It’s the first since his suicide

Me: I just want to die

Alter Ego: Really? 

Me: No, not really. I planned the birthday and death anniversary but there so many occasions. I just failed to plan for this one. 

Alter Ego: What would you have done? 

Me: Planned a surgery that lasted all day 

Alter Ego:  Well you don’t need surgery

Me: No. I just need the anesthesia

Alter Ego:  It’s just one day

Me: I know, I know. Read more...