Grieving Season

grief

So I’m headed into my grieving season.

Last year I was prepared for the death anniversary. But not for Charles’ birthday April 26, Mother’s day in May, Father’s Day in June, then the death anniversary June 5 and then my own birthday June 18.

The stretch was pretty brutal last year. I’m not going to underestimate it this year. I didn’t think of all those special days and what to do for those.

The trick is to make plans. Do something to celebrate life. His life. And mine. I’m not trying to avoid grief simply trying to prepare for it. … Read more...

Death Anniversary Heart– #griefheart number 56

This #griefheart represents all the love and support we have received since Charles’ suicide. It is made up of the grief cards we got after Charles’ death June 5, 2015.

Charles died 4 days after we sold our house, so we moved and I’m not sure this is all of them. But it has to be most of them. It’s a big heart from people with big hearts for a child with a big heart.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by#griefheart Read more...

Anticipation of the first death anniversary

Me: I don’t know yet which is worse. The anticipation of June 5, Charles’ death anniversary, or the actual daycal_june5

Alter Ego: I’ve noticed you are sleeping restlessly again and the hot flashes are worse 

Me: And the heaviness in my limbs. It feels like the death anniversary will mean he is farther away from me

Alter Ego:  You’ll have to learn to carry him in your heart

Me: Sometimes I know what that means. Other times I don’t and I feel if I cling to my grief I’m closer to him and he won’t fade away

Alter Ego:  Did Read more...