I wanted someone to ask me. I wanted someone, anyone, to stop me.
You didn’t ask. Probably because you didn’t know to ask. I wanted you to come get me. Save me from myself.
I know I didn’t say it. I know you didn’t know where I was.
Why didn’t I ask you? Why didn’t I tell you?
I was alone for days. I hated how I was living.
I didn’t tell you any of that.
I didn’t want those feelings of suicide. I didn’t want to leave you and Dad. I loved my family. I loved my dog. I … Read more...
Dear Orthopedic Surgeons,
How many news reports, stories of overdoses do you need before you stop prescribing one and two months of highly addictive opiates? Do you orthos live under a rock? Have you seen the news? Eighty percent of the global opioid supply is consumed in the United States. That’s prescribed medication.
Stories after stories that are all the same theme. “My son had surgery, became addicted and died from overdose.” Most everyone has heard. Why haven’t you? Is no one speaking about this at your conferences? The oral surgeons have caught on. The primary care doctors have, too. Why haven’t you guys?
I’ve talked to … Read more...
We need to share our stories about addiction, mental illness, grief overdose and suicide. We must talk about our family’s pain as it relates to the illness of addiction and mental illness because it’s a family issue.
The stories shared with me to post here on emotionally naked this past two weeks have been amazing. I had some prior to that that I included on this page.
You’d be wrong.
Visitation to the site has quadrupled lately and we will soon reach 200,000 people reached since Feb 2016. People are interested. And … Read more...
Every once in a while I had to make this declaration.
It meant, “I’m done for today.”
It meant, “Time out!”
I needed to give my brain a break from the emotional mayhem of caring for a stubborn child that suffered from anxiety, depression and addiction. I needed that break so I could refuel and come back fighting.
As parents, we get to that point.
The system is so frustrating, support so lacking, it often feels like no one is on your side. And let’s face it. We can’t always get cooperation from our loved ones either. Watching someone self-destruct is no picnic.… Read more...
By Jenny Derr, his mother
In April of 2016, our 24-year-old son, Billy was visiting us in Richmond. We had a good weekend–he was engaged, laughing, and spending a lot of time with us, which is not the typical behavior of someone in active addiction.
He had relapsed in October 2015, after a year and a half of sobriety, and seemed to be back on the right track. He was enrolled at Boston University taking two classes and he loved living in Beacon Hill. He flew back to Boston on a Tuesday morning, I … Read more...
by Laurie Pettit
My son Dawson, my first child, was born February 13, 1988. He was such a happy baby and he grew up in the Wyndham area of Short Pump. He loved school, his friends, his pets and his family–especially his cousin Grayson.
Dawson played little league baseball, YMCA basketball, travel soccer with Richmond Strikers, and he was a brown belt in Karate. He later played Lacrosse, and tennis and golf through High school. Dawson did well in school and was accepted into Deep Run’s Center for Information Technology, his home school and where his friends were.
When the … Read more...
This post is for you Matt.
Those with ‘lived experience’ are those who suffer suicidal thoughts and may or may not have had a suicide attempt. We need to listen to them. We need to honor their struggle. We need to be there for them.
In 1995, I became interested in the internet marketing. After my son’s suicide, I sold my partnership in a digital marketing firm I co-owned for 7 years in January 2017 to pursue suicide prevention full time and all that goes with it– addiction, mental illness, and grief.
I have the advantage of knowing … Read more...
By Diane Fielder McCormick
Content warning: Strong Emotional Content.
Note from Anne Moss: I sent an email to my most engaged readers and asked if they wanted to share their stories. Diane responded right away and has shared with all of us the final videos from her son. They are a gift. And they are heartbreaking. But they are also something else. It shows that even in the darkest hour, your loved one loved you.
Suicide, addiction, and depression have a very close relationship. More than 90% of people who fall victim to suicide suffer from depression, have or substance abuse … Read more...
Using stimulants or amphetamines like Adderall or Ritalin has become commonplace for students. And they take these in their drive to succeed in high schools and colleges across the US. Prescribed by doctors for students with ADD/ADHD, these drugs often end up on the black market and abused by high school and college students. And stimulants have significantly different effects on those who do not have ADD/ADHD.
From 2006-2011, the non-medical use of “speed” or some other amphetamine (taking the drug without a prescription) rose 67% and emergency room visits went up 156%. Stimulants were used illegally more than any other prescription … Read more...
Thanks to your sharing and help, we’ve reached a lot of people! I get messages, notes, letters from so many who saw a post on your wall and got help for a friend, recognized signs of mental illness, suicide and addiction. Others have gotten the inspiration to speak out based on the same sharing.
Not for one second do I think I’m doing this alone. And for the first time in my life, I feel support–support that I so craved while advocating for my son before he died by suicide. Support that feels good, powerful and effective.
This is just … Read more...
One of the readers here, Gina Hollenweger, posted this video on my Facebook page in response to post about refusing to bury my son’s memory.
None of our sons and daughters are immune to this epidemic. They touch on so many of the emotions you can expect and it is worth watching. I will make it part of the grief page when I update it.
Hosted by COBE and the VA Dept of Behavioral Health (DBHDS), this COBE Substance Use Disorder Conference focused on the science behind the disease. This post is inspired by Bill Maher, gentle interventionist, who asked me what I learned from the perspective of a mom who lost a child to addiction.
The conference was great and very informative. Here are my takeaways Well, some of them. Please add yours in the comments.
These individuals are human beings, not throwaways. It’s someone’s son, brother, mother, sister, wife, husband, friend or cousin. They are … Read more...
When those in recovery reference the shame that comes with substance use disorder, I get it. Because as a mom, I got that treatment, too.
It was bad when my son suffered depression and anxiety attacks at school. But attitudes towards my family and Charles got much worse once drugs entered the picture.
I expected it from clueless neighbors and uneducated parents.
Surprisingly, the most belittling humiliation came from behavioral health specialists–people I was paying to educate me on what to do. Don’t get me wrong, there are some compassionate, awesome people in the field. But … Read more...
Heroin told my son he was invincible and wouldn’t get addicted.
Heroin told Charles it was the answer to his pain, when in fact it made things worse.
Heroin told my son his problems were everyone else’s fault.
Heroin told him just one more hit and then he could stop, but it never let go.
Heroin told him he would feel first-hit euphoria all over again, even though he never did.
Heroin told him to lie, cheat and steal then convinced his brain that was OK when it wasn’t.
Heroin told him his loved ones abandoned him, when in fact it was the drug that made him abandon … Read more...
For decades, insurance pays for 30 day stay for addiction recovery. If they don’t boot them out at 3 weeks.
But when it comes to addiction, science has proven it takes 18 months for the brain to rewire itself. And while I understand insurance won’t pay for that long, 4 weeks is just not enough to let anyone suffering from addiction to even get their footing. So why is 30 days still the standard?
Money for one.
Acceptance as addiction as an illness is another.
We’ve been in the war on drugs for over a decade now. The war we … Read more...