The day I realized I was breakable

I realized I was vulnerable when my first child was born.

I realized I was breakable the day I lost my son Charles to depression.

As Charles once wrote, “Life can crush your perfect world in under a second.” And while my life was far from perfect before he died, my world was completely shattered after.

What happened? I had a direction. I had a plan. No one marked the land mines or sent off warning flares.

I didn’t know what breakable was until it happened. I lost any shred of innocence and naiveté I had left. My fairy Godmother … Read more...

Hold you in my heart till I hold you in heaven – #griefheart 126

Dear Charles- I rather you were here with me. But you are not. So I have no other choice. You suffered more than I thought you did.  I wish I could have helped.

All those years of worrying about what would happen to you, and your worst enemy was inside you. How can a mother know to protect her son from himself? Suicide is just not something we ever think about, can ever imagine.

Like you said in your song to Cal, “You may have died but I’m keepin’ your memory alive.”

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain … Read more...