The day I realized I was breakable

I realized I was vulnerable when my first child was born.

I realized I was breakable the day I lost my son Charles to depression.

As Charles once wrote, “Life can crush your perfect world in under a second.” And while my life was far from perfect before he died, my world was completely shattered after.

What happened? I had a direction. I had a plan. No one marked the land mines or sent off warning flares.

I didn’t know what breakable was until it happened. I lost any shred of innocence and naiveté I had left. My fairy Godmother didn’t come rescue me. No angel came to me and said this was all just a bad dream.

Friends surrounded me and held me up. I nursed myself through the shock. I walked through days like I wasn’t in them because I didn’t feel part of the world any more.

Slowly, my broken world started to come back together. I started to heal. With scar tissue that will always remain.

It will never be like it was before and I know there is no going back.

But there is life after you’ve been broken.

My eyes are wider. My world less rigid. My heart more open.

5 things to help you find hope after tragedy

Published by

Anne Moss Rogers

I am the mother of two boys and the owner of emotionally naked, a site that reached a quarter million people in its first 18 months. I am a writer and professional public speaker on the topics of suicide, addiction, mental illness, and grief and currently working on getting a book published. I lost my youngest son, Charles, 20, to suicide June 5, 2015. As talented and funny as Charles was, letting other people know they matter was his greatest gift. And now the legacy I try and carry forward in my son's memory.

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