I realized I was vulnerable when my first child was born.
I realized I was breakable the day I lost my son Charles to depression.
As Charles once wrote, “Life can crush your perfect world in under a second.” And while my life was far from perfect before he died, my world was completely shattered after.
What happened? I had a direction. I had a plan. No one marked the land mines or sent off warning flares.
I didn’t know what breakable was until it happened. I lost any shred of innocence and naiveté I had left. My fairy Godmother didn’t come rescue me. No angel came to me and said this was all just a bad dream.
Friends surrounded me and held me up. I nursed myself through the shock. I walked through days like I wasn’t in them because I didn’t feel part of the world any more.
Slowly, my broken world started to come back together. I started to heal. With scar tissue that will always remain.
It will never be like it was before and I know there is no going back.
But there is life after you’ve been broken.
My eyes are wider. My world less rigid. My heart more open.