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Yogi heart – #griefheart number 131

I went to yoga Saturday with some friends. My friend Sophia was teaching. After, we took a picture with everyone making hearts with their arms in honor of Charles. I think the light glowing through the windows is a nice touch that we didn’t plan.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by #griefheart category.

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From where I do I draw my strength?

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Cloudy heart – #griefheart number 128

The sky symbolizes heaven and I can’t help but stare at it a lot since Charles died. I have always been fascinated with clouds and the fluffy white ones are always so peaceful next to a Carolina blue sky. I have spotted a heart but didn’t get my camera unlocked fast enough and it was gone. But Esther, my household help for the last 20 years, captured this one and sent it.

I do have more than one cloud heart but when you have a child that died, you kind of want to “collect” all the cloud hearts you can … Read more...

Bruised heart – #griefheart number 128

When you lose a child, the bruise on your heart doesn’t fade like the ones on your skin. The pain of a bruised heart from the loss of a child is like no other hurt.

Some days you really think you can’t get through all the hurt. You weren’t supposed to outlive your child. But we find a way to go on. We lift one another up. We start a new chapter. And like a bruise, the process is not always pretty but we manage to get there like countless other mothers and fathers have before us.

What is the

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Rock solid heart – #griefheart 126

I’ll be holding you in my heart until I can hold you in my arms again.

This sent to me by my friend Melissa. Someone close to her sent it when she was having a difficult time. And she sent it to me for the same reason. Every day is a tough day still since Charles’ suicide. Thank you guys for reaching out. And those other moms out there in the same club, this is for you, too.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this … Read more...

Sunny side up heart – #griefheart 122

sharing-a-heart

You can find one in the sky,
You can form one out of rocks,
You mold one out of play dough,
You can shape one out of socks.
You can make one out of buttons,
You can stamp one in the snow,
You can fill today with
hearts everywhere you go!

Thank you for sharing your heart–Mary-ellen

(Mary-ellen is on my school program committee.)

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by #griefheart category.

Get updates to this project by subscribing

Grateful Heart

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Forever in our heart – #griefheart number 120

I love this poem and I love how the angel is right next to the heart.

Don’t ever think you can’t talk about your child or honor his struggle because he died from overdose or by suicide. Addiction is an illness. Depression is an illness.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by #griefheart category.

Get updates to this project by subscribing

Before and After

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Sad sack heart – #griefheart number 119

bag-heart

This is the brown bag that contains the clothing Charles was wearing when he died by suicide. What do you do with something like this? I still don’t know.

So I just leave them in a bag in a box in the closet. I do take the bag out and hug it every once in a while. I also hug his backpack on tough days. His scent is no longer there which is heartbreaking. I wish there had been a way to capture his scent.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefheartsRead more...

Wagging heart – #griefheart number 113

love-of-dogs
Wagging heart

My friend Bonnie’s daughter got a new pooch. She realized after this picture was taken that she had captured a heart on the dog’s rump. And she sent it to me to be part of the #griefheart project. My late son Charles loved, loved dogs. They loved him.

I asked her the new dog’s name. It’s Charlie. Now that’s ironic.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by#griefheart category.

Get updates to this project by subscribing

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Serenity prayer heart – #griefheart number 111

My friend Laurie sent me this as a “thinking about you” #griefheart. She and I are part of that club no one wants to be in. She and her husband Scott lost their son Dawson to an overdose in 2014 and I am dedicating this one to his memory.

For 4 1/2 years, we went to Families Anonymous and after every meeting, the group says this prayer.

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

Keep coming back. It works … Read more...

Puppy love – #griefheart number 110

Charles loved his dog. He wanted one forever. He begged in middle school and I felt so guilty for saying no. I knew a dog would require my time no matter what my kids said about “doing everything.”

On his 15th birthday, we finally got Charles a dog. The world rejoiced! We got Andy from my friend Diane’s daughter who had to move to a new apartment that didn’t allow dogs. It was love at first sight.

Andy is still with us. I never thought the dog would outlive our son.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart Read more...